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HomeRelaxed Male BlogThe 4 PillarsMan’s MindWhy You Should Make Self-Improvement a Priority

Why You Should Make Self-Improvement a Priority

We humans are pretty interesting as creatures go. We are one of the fewest or possibly the only creatures on earth that can get better. Now what do I mean by better well that’s a question that is entirely based on what you want to improve. because we can improve and We can become better faster smarter we can grow in so many different aspects of our lives. We are able to pursue self-improvement

It’s actually really difficult to not find someone who is not trying to improve themselves in some way. Heck, look at the new year. That is a time that is dedicated to people trying to improve and sadly a lot of people fail at following through, but they do improve.

Many people sadly just talk about improving but never get out of the starting blocks. They struggle with the thoughts that they are not worthy of improving,  or that the people they are around won’t accept them as being the new person. This can be scary to many men. They see this as rejection.

Why even try to improve? What are the benefits of improving your life? Is it even worth trying to improve yourself? My answer is, it’s always worth the trouble, the hassle, the pain, the struggles, the fear, the uncertainty, and the discomfort of improving yourself and we’re going to dive into why improve who you are. 

Why do you want to Improve Yourself?

One of the highest aspirations we have is to be of value to our family in our community. We get our value from how well we provide to those around us. That means when we improve ourselves we are raising the amount of value we are able to provide.

So why improve? So that we are able to give more to our families. We can give more to those in our neighborhood. We become a better friend to our Band of Brothers. All of that and more is thanks to us improving ourselves.

If you don’t have a girlfriend or wife, improving your social skills gives you the ability to find a girlfriend. When you improve your employability, you get more pay from your employer. If you improve your leadership skills, you improve your standing in the company. Do you want to change your child’s life for the better? Increase your value as a parent.

Yes, everything in life is transactional. That means if you want a higher quality of life you have to improve your quality, become stronger, become smarter, develop better skills these are all points that you can improve on.

man running on edge near mountain Are you on the same self-improvement journey?

What is wrong with staying where you are?

In all reality, nothing. you can stay right where you’re at. Yet if you want to stay where you’re at you do forfeit the right to complain that your life sucks. If you actually hate your life or the station that you are in then you have to do the uncomfortable work and actually grow.

This is the big problem many men have: they don’t want to get uncomfortable. It is easier to sit around and wish you had a better girlfriend than to go out and meet a better girlfriend. It’s easier to look at porn than to build a better connection with your wife so that you have better sex. it is better to have a higher-paying job but that requires you to give up smoking marijuana from sunup to sundown. 

Yes, many of these changes mean you have to change the way you view your world. This can be scary because yes you are going to have friends who reject the new you. We don’t like to be rejected. This is the reason why we look at porn more than trying to have a better relationship with our girlfriend.

You can stay where you are, you’re just not going to get the reward for the hard work. Many of us in today’s society would rather complain about our shortcomings than make an actual shift in our thoughts and our actions.

So stay playing small if that’s what you want but understand that your lack of success is because you chose to not be successful. If you want to have success and travel, good food, and a hot wife who loves to have sex with you, you have to work on your self-improvement.

What do you mean by self-improvement?

The vast majority of self-improvement is nothing more than bettering your thoughts. Yeah, it is that simple. You have to improve how you think of the world. Looking at the world in a pessimistic style will cause you to have pessimistic results. If you are looking at life and your world with gratitude and abundance you’re going to have abundance. If you’re looking at your life through scarcity. The resources in your life are going to be very scarce. 

Improve your value and your bank account grows. Improve your value and your friends become higher quality. Improve how you approach problems and those problems go away. That’s what I mean. 

the sun is setting over the mountains in the valley

When you start changing your thoughts the results start taking care of themselves. Want to lose weight? Find out how you start liking yourself more and the weight will start to come off. That is because you’re not worried about the weight so much. Yet when you are thinking about how you are so fat and overweight, your body is going to collect that weight as if it were a rare commodity.

If you stop thinking your boss is out to get you and you show up to work as if you are a leader, you will get that leadership role. If you think your boss is a jerk. your boss will show up as a jerk. Your results are from your thoughts. So improve your thoughts, and you improve your self-image. Your self-image will improve. 

What if I can’t get better?

At first, you’re not going to get better. This is because you don’t know how to improve yourself. You’re going to try and fail. What you do after the failure will determine how much improvement you make. If you try again only to fail again you’ve improved yourself tremendously because you keep trying until you succeed. 

If you don’t try you don’t get better. If you think about improving with no action you’re not going to get any better. there are no results without action. You have to try, fail, try again, fail again. This is where so many people get very uncomfortable, because Why Try if you’re only going to fail? Failure is the objective. You want to fail so that you eventually succeed. 

So what if you don’t get better? Start trying more. 

brown tree with self-improvement you get the support you need

That sounds hard

You’re right it is. It is very difficult and very challenging. Trying to improve yourself is frustrating. It is called a struggle for a reason. Yet the results that you get from going through that struggle are tremendous. Delayed gratification is one of the greatest rewards you can give yourself, and all you have to do is fail till you succeed. 

There is a lot of discomfort in self-improvement. You are constantly stepping out of your comfort zone. This is where your growth happens. This is where you find that you’re stronger than you believed. Getting out of your comfort zone is where you find what you’re fully capable of doing. You discover more about yourself you get more confidence in your abilities than you will ever find all being comfortable on the couch in front of your television.

Is it hard, yes you bet your life and it is the most rewarding work you will ever do?

What do you improve?

So how do you start improving? The first is to decide that you want to improve. That may sound like I’m talking in circles. However, you have to start somewhere. There are four pillars you can start with. You can start working on your mind. You can start working on your body. You can start working on your purpose and feeding your soul. Then again, you can start working on your community. 

Starting With one of these pillars is a good place to begin. Just don’t indulge in overwhelm or confusion. Choose someplace that you would like to improve and start learning. I often tell people that if they want to improve on their purpose. They just don’t know where to start. They need to just start by experimenting. Make a list of the things they want to try and try each one of those items. There is going to be something learned from those experiments each and every time. This is what learning is about. Finding that you like something but not other things.

silhouette of man running on beach during sunset 
You can experience the light of self-improvement

Where do you start?

I would say first make a list of all the things you would like to change. then close your eyes and point to something. Whatever you point at there you go there’s a starting spot. The key is to start looking at what you do as an adventure. You don’t know where you’re going to wind up, but you know you’re going to go somewhere that is going to be interesting. you just have to start instead of just talking about it and become a man of action.

If you would like help finding your purpose. if you would like help improving your body. if you would like help strengthening your mind or want help growing your community, then Reach Out. That’s the next step. Just reach out and see how I can help you become a better man for your Society for your community for your family for you.

The Next Step

If you’re struggling with thoughts or limitations around what is making you play small in life, then getting coached by Bryan is your next best step.
No more feeling frustrated, lost, or hopeless about being a victim.
Getting coached by Bryan will help you overcome your self-confidence blocks and discover what is truly possible in you

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The Relaxed Male

The Relaxed Male
Bryan Goodwin

The Relaxed Male is a podcast that helps men find their purpose and learn to breathe. We offer solutions for when life gets tough. Whether it’s divorce or just the stress of everyday life, we can help you get back on your feet and be the man you want to be. You deserve more than what society tells us we should do as men. Be the father your children need, be the partner your spouse needs, and most importantly – be yourself! This all starts with you getting out of your own way and deciding how you are going to live life.