Have you ever just completely lost it? How about blowing you top? Maybe you have had a complete and total meltdown. Of course, you have. You are human. There are times that we just let the drama of the situation completely overcome us and we lose our cool. It happens I know I have. I have blown up at my kids, my wife, and a complete stranger once or twice.
When I was young I had a temper. My daughter is in the young adult phase of her life. She still has a problem keeping it together when someone tells her no. Maybe you are like this woman.
You more than likely seeing that your son is struggling with his temper or maybe he is entering his teenage years and he is testing you and the limits to the breaking point. All these times will try a man’s soul.
Now add this whole quarantine thing and you now have a whole new level of stress in your life that was never thought of. Stress and all the other events happening in your current circumstance might be resulting in you blowing a gasket way more often than necessary.
Why are you wound up? How can you become more relaxed? You understand that every time you go nuclear you are doing damage to the relationship with those around you. You want to be like the Fonz. You want to keep your cool. That is what this post is aiming to help you with.
What does it mean to be grounded?
So what are we meaning when I say grounded? The term is often associated with more metaphysical lines of thought but it does a very good job of describing the balancing of your mind, body, and emotional energy.
There fore being grounded means most of all being stable. As events come at you, you are able to adjust. You accept the event for being just an event. You don’t let the drama of the circumstance affect how you approach or handle it. You are able to stay cool calm and collected.
A tree is also a good example of being grounded. They are able to bend with the winds and aren’t going to do anything too dramatic. Yet even then there are times they just break. So don’t think you won’t overreact to a circumstance every single time the fit hits the shan.
Why is grounding yourself needed?
Look at being grounded like a very full bowl of hot soup, and you are walking on a balance beam. As you traverse the beam you are swaying from one side to the other and developing 2nd-degree burns in the process.
The reason you are burning yourself is that you are turning your focus on not falling off the beam. In other words, you have too much going on. This is happening in real life too.
If you are stuck at home because your government has shut you down. Add the fact that your money is rapidly running out. You have rent on your business coming due, the mortgage on your house is past due. The pantry may be down to crackers and pickles, Your mailbox is full of disconnect notices. All of this and more going on in your life is starting to add up. I can see why you are unbalanced and erupting multiple times a day.
Now, let’s take that same bowl of soup. We will fill it just as full but now have it on the table? Suddenly the chances of you burning yourself are greatly diminished. Why? Because your mind is that bowl of soup. It is grounded or on a stable surface. Suddenly all those things going on in your life can come at you and can still handle them.
You can actually ground your mind and body so that you can address those circumstances and not burn the relationships in your life. So lets put your bowl of soup on a trolley so you can push it while you are walking the balance beam.
So the benefit of being and staying grounded is that you are viewed as a leader. People look for the calmest person in the storm. The average person wants someone who can make a decision while in a state of calm, because making a decision in the middle of a dramatic storm never turns out good.
How do you stay grounded throughout the day?
You can look all through the internet and find a whole assortment of ways you are supposed to be able to stay grounded in trying times. Some of them I believe are good while others are a little out there. Others are meant as just a distraction from the daily events and responsibilities or in other words you are hiding from your problems and that in itself doesn’t help. Because responsibilities are a lot like a bull. You can dodge it for a time but they will catch up to you and nail you right in the butt.
Here are some practical ways you can stay grounded even when a tempest is outside your door.
Start the day Grounded
If you are wanting to be grounded it is best to start your day grounded. Have the intent to start off calm and relaxed. You may only have 5 minutes before you have to get everybody else up and the circus starts. If you have an hour that is even better.
When you first get up don’t grab your phone. The notifications that patiently waited for you to wake up and wait a few more minutes. Often our phones are where we get our news and gossip. Do this doesn’t serve you in any helpful way. That email from the boss will do nothing more than getting you into a state of worry and anxiety. This will add the unbalanced feeling you have when you are actually trying to become more grounded and stable.
So, avoid the phone, your tablet, and the computer for the first 15-30 minutes. apply your efforts to something that serves you. That way you are serving yourself first.
Feed your mind. read a positive book or maybe a blog post. If you don’t like to read take that time to listen to a good podcast that has a good message. The point is to set your mind into a motion of good thought. You aren’t starting your day in a harried manner. Some people use this time to read a passage or two from the bible. If you aren’t a bible reader that is fine there are plenty of ways to not bash your waking brain with the problems of the world.
The key is to set your mindset in the motion of positive thoughts and develop an abundant mindset. This way you can ease your mind into gear instead of just popping the clutch.
Do some mindful meditation
Yes, now I am not talking about the full-on OOOOOOOooooommmmmm type of meditation. But the type of Meditation where you sit and you focus only on one thing for 10-15 minutes.
Yeah people say I can’t do that. I can’t turn my brain off. If that is your excuse you are missing what mindfulness does. The point is as you are focusing on your breath or where your feet are touching the ground you focus only on that. As you focus on that your mind will wander. When you notice your mind wandering you gently bring your focus back to your focus point. Each time you wander you bring your thought back to the focus point.
The first several times you do this you will thin you are just fighting with yourself. When in reality you are training yourself to pay attention to the thoughts you are having. Soon you will see what thought you are having that will destabilize your balance.
Doing this each day helps strengthen your ability to see what is setting you off and opens the door for you to change your thought. IF you change your thought you can change your emotion. Which in turn will, change your outcome.
Review your goals and To-do’s
One of the best ways to keep your balance is to keep your eyes on your goals. That way you stay focused on what needs to be done than wasting energy throwing an unneeded fit. You can look at this like cable guards for the day. They won’t keep you out of the ditch if you do happen to go careening out of control. But it will help let you know where you are off base.
So remind, yourself each day what your goals and objectives are so they stay on your point than whatever little disaster happens to cross your path.
Say some affirmations
Saying affirmations also helps with your mindset so you can stay grounded and stable in times that your world isn’t going according to plan. Remember that man plans and God laughs. So things won’t go the way you want them to. Set you mindset to success and be ok with hiccups.
Reground yourself in stressful situations
There are times throughout the day that someone will be trying your patience. They will keep poling the bear because they want a reaction. IF you find the anger and ungrounding thoughts creeping up do a 5 by 5. Take 5 minutes and step back 5 feet. Get your self regrounded but doing a quick meditation or Just breathe. Slowly and evenly.
Breathing will slow down how much the lizard part fo your brain can control. It will give that control back to the prefrontal cortex, or the thinking part of your brain. You want the rational part of your mind to have control, not the emotional part.
Keep the eye on the prize
This goes with the goals and objectives you read each morning to keep your mind and body grounded. Know your why and don’t decide your “whys” when you are emotional. Those are the worst times to try to think. Emotions and rationality don’t mix.
Therefor. Have a focus and just keep doing that thing. Staying calm and reaching your objective causes others to see your stability. Seeing that person who can keep calm is a skill many men lack. People will follow you just to see you make it to the top of whatever challenge you are facing. Only if you have that goal in mind and it is your grounding stone.
Flush that extra energy
Finally one of the best ways to keep from losing it is to not have the extra energy needed to lose it. So get outside or go to a gym. Go and work out. That is why young boys are so disruptive they have too much energy to sit still and think. They have to run and get that extra energy out of them by letting them have some recess.
You can start you day with a brisk walk or maybe a run. You can also go to the gym and work out. Maybe you can clean your yard. In all reality do something that will burn off that energy. Your mind and body will be way more relaxed if you don’t just sit and try to store energy.
You are also doing yourself a huge favor by getting this exercise. You get out in the sun and you will receive a healthy dose of vitamin D. You get healthier and you are showing your body some love. If you are proud of who you are and you treat your body with the love it needs it will help you stay calm and grounded through many different crises.
So find your calm John Spartan and be the rock everybody is needing in times of crisis. If you can remain calm and keep pushing on towards your goal you will earn the admiration and respect of others. You do that by respecting yourself and your goal. Keep at it. It is hard and you will have time that you break down. That is fine you are human. Allow that emotion to live its life but you don’t have to act on it.
If you want to do something out of an emotional state that you are in say write an angry burning letter to someone. Write it out. But don’t send it for 24 hours or longer. Let that foundation rocking emotion dye off and then reread the email and see if it still needs to be that strongly worded. More then likely you will see the world in a different light and you will keep that relationship.