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Ep 7 – Not Happy? Are You Supposed to be Happy?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Some people believe they deserve to be happy. Is this really true? This is what we explore in today’s podcast episode.

Many people believe they are supposed to feel happy all of the time and then get flustered and even downright upset when they feel anything other than happiness. They are plagued by anxiety because they aren’t happy. People do so many different attempts at not feeling that anxiety that they start to fight all emotions. It is almost like a child who doesn’t get their way they pack up all their toys.

Life is 50%/50%

The part many people who suffer from constant anxiety and fear fail to realize that life is 50/50 or half of your life is going to great, happy and joyous. While the other 50% of your life is going to be painful negative emotions, and that is a good thing. You don’t want to be happy when someone dies. You want to feel grief and sorrow. You break up from your love. You don’t want to feel joyous. That is the death of a relationship so you should mourn the loss of an emotional connection.

The sad part is that many people demand that they be happy. People believe that they deserve to be happy and that others should be making them happy and there is a fault in that line of thinking. That fault is that people can’t make other people feel a particular emotion or any emotion. To feel an emotion you must first have thought. That thought is needed before you can feel. For that thought to happen, there is an event or circumstance. This is where many people believe they receive their emotions. Yet, events are neither positive nor are they negative until you put your thought on it. Look at the times your kids have done something they are proud of, for instance drawing on the wall. You can see that as a destructive act and respond with anger and harsh words or you can see that junior is just trying to exercise his creativity. This is where you can have more than one emotion and that emotion isn’t wrong. The event is the same the thought is different and that thought creates the emotion of being angry or just put out.

You don’t allow yourself to be happy

Many people talk about how they want to just be happy. Yet anytime something happens they don’t choose to be happy about it. Often this is the pessimist’s line of thinking. They could look at the glass to be half-full but they can only see that their glass is half gone. They don’t allow the feeling of joy in their lives because they are too busy worrying about when the other shoe is going to drop. Yet because they are, the only ones who can make themselves feel joy happiness and love they are the force that keeps themselves miserable. They have chosen to be unhappy.

You have to earn happiness

Another part of being happy is often you have to earn happiness. That is because happiness is the reward for a job completed. That sense of accomplishment is the reward we are craving. To be able to earn that reward you have to get yourself out of your cave. You have to deny yourself the pleasure of Netflix or seeing what baby Yoda is up to so that you can go out and do something that will propel yourself forward toward your happiness.

Therefore, get outdoors do something that gets you closer to your goals. One way you can do this is with the Camp and Coach event that I am hosting in Western Oklahoma.

If you would like to change, you think so you can find the life you have been dreaming of then sign up for the Camp and Coach Event that is happening on my 7-10

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About Bryan Goodwin

I like being able to help people find their "why" and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.

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