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Facing the Real Enemy

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I started this post late last week I was surprised as to how relevant it is for today’s events and I ask that you sit through this and hear what is being said. Because there is so much finger-pointing being done this week all out of our greatest enemy.

Who is that? Well, I am sure that there are some screaming that it is the police but the real enemy in this scenario is the same enemy that holds people back from getting out of the poor districts. It is the same enemy that causes good people to fall. This enemy has gripped you and me more times than we really want to know.

The Enemy

That enemy that is at the root of the problem is fear. Not racism, not the man, not even the different political sides, though they use the enemy as a tool against us. The enemy is fear.

I talk a lot about fear because I fight with it each day. It comes in many different forms and each form is just as intimidating as the rest. Those forms are not limited to only fear but the anxiety about what can happen, the big what if, uncertainty, jealousy, anger, apprehension, animosity, and also scarcity.

This enemy is found in each person’s mind and it originates in the lizard part of your brain. This reaction part of your brain is designed to keep you safe, and it worked for so many of the millennia that we humans have been stomping around. It keeps us aware of what could be creeping around in the bushes or if we enter a dark forest. It was used to keep us from being snack food for a hungry bear or lion. These days it still helps us. It keeps us from walking out into traffic, or if we see that our house is on fire we leave the building.

Those instances are few and far between. Nowadays fear is the greatest barrier and opponent instead of being a proponent. It now keeps us from trying that big scary seeming goal. It causes us from talking to that girl we find so attractive. It breaks up marriages and even goes as far as destroying neighborhoods. People don’t want to speak up out of fear of being called a name or being verbally attacked.

Yeah, they feel safe making long-distance judgments about events from the safety of their keyboards. I know I am one of those people who is just as guilty of throwing my 2 cents into a Facebook discussion.

The Problem

Now there was an event that happened that was the catalyst for the fear to take hold and to let loose all the other forms of fear into society. That event was the killing of George Floyd a man who was smothered by a police officer. Now there were 3 other officers with this man who did not intervene. Why? I honestly don’t know I can’t assume. I wasn’t there I didn’t see the event other than the video which just shows the moment that George was saying he couldn’t breathe. This leaves a lot for people to run on with fear and speculation.

Now the killing was wrong from what I saw, and the officers involved have been fired and later arrested. Yet the riots have kept on. All of this is based on fear, and the fear has grown and evolved into the chaos that is now spreading across the country.

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The problem is that fear has been allowed running rampant. That fear as it grows morphs into other manifestations. These other forms of fear are like pokemon when they evolve. They are small and do much damage but the higher levels can deal out more damage and create more fear.

Fear has grown to anger. That anger has morphed into suffering and has assumed the form of chaos. There is no protesting going on at this stage. People who protest have a message. That message is lost when people allow fear to take over. Those people who are actually protesting are being drowned out because the enemy of fear now has a louder voice of people destroying neighborhoods. There are people who are real racists who are mixed in because they can actually do damage because of the chaos. There is no message as a whole.

Running on assumptions

These protests are trying to say that there is a problem. That could possibly be. Yet fear is still working in many of these groups because they are protesting the police as a whole. Is there a problem? Yes but the root cause can be found on both sides of the protest line.

There are bad police. There are police who have murdered people. There are police who have also been arrested for theft, arson, extraction, and many other forms of corruption. Is that the whole police force? God no. The vast majority of police officers believe they are protecting and serving the public. They do a very thankless job, a very important job. Who are you going to call when a crime has been committed against you, the police.

Yet many of the protestors want to say that the whole police force is to blame and they are very much wrong.

Lack of responsibility

Now this will piss a lot of people off yet needs to be said. There are responsibilities needing to be taken for both sides of the argument. Yes, there is just as big of a mess on the protestor’s side as there is on the police side. There is plenty of statistical data showing who is killed more by police. There is also a lot of data that shows where crime happens more. Crime happens more in the lower-income districts. These districts are centers for a scarcity mindset. People listen to their fears say that they are not good enough to get out of that place. Yet there is evidence to show otherwise. People leave the ghetto areas of town and move up to middle class and the middle class moves up to upper class all the time.

The police have to also take responsibility in that there is a problem. Granted you can’t just let the poorer sides of town go without protection. The police have dove into fear at the same time. They have started taking more aggressive tactics that have caused unnecessary loss of life. There is Daniel Shaver’s killed by overly aggressive police just as there are George Floyd’s being strangled by police. Both sides need to see that they are just as much at fault as the other. They both are living in fear.

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Now there is something to being said about the police being targeted. So I do understand why the police are just as fearful about encounters are the black community. Both are coming from a fear-based mindset.

Fear generators

There are more stories of police doing good than stories of bad police officers. No, it isn’t because people are hiding their heads in the sand. It is because the police as a whole are good.

The same goes for black community there are actually more heartwarming stories of people helping people than they are going around committing crimes. Stereotypes are being thrown around yet neither side claims to like stereotyping. This also shows fear. Often fear is created by fear generators.

I will point a finger at one group that doesn’t help the situation for America or any other place. That group is the media. Yeah I know I am writing so I could be classified as media too. But I am talking about the big media people. There are so many one-sided stories being told. Yes everybody has an agenda. This media is used by both sides. The right-wing media uses fear as a tool just as bad as the left-wing. Both sides love to play the victim when it is to their benefit. They make sure to say what they can to try to create that sense of fear so that the audience will stay and listen longer out of hopes that a solution will be provided.

That solution won’t be provided because though clickbait has complained about, it is still being used in social media, newspapers, magazines, and Television. If you want to get out of fear and see how good everybody as a whole is then tune out these fear generators. Or at least turn them down.

Look at the You

As a society there are problems. Is there racism? Yes, and we will never get fully rid of it. Yet society as a whole is good. All each person wants is to live the best life possible. How that is attained is dependant on that person. Police as a whole do a good service. The military as a whole does a good service. The black communities as a whole do a good service. The Asian community as a whole does a good service.

Jan. 20, 2009 “President-elect Barack Obama was about to walk out to take the oath of office. Backstage at the U.S. Capitol, he took one last look at his appearance in the mirror.” (Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

Yet when we let fear enter our lives we stop seeing that good. We start pointing fingers saying that such and such ain’t fair. No one said life was fair. In America we are equal. We all have an the ability to pursue our own happiness. What stops us isn’t somebody else but ourselves.

I can’t make you feel warm and bubbly over this post. I can’t even make you mad over this post. You decide whether you want to be happy sad angry or indifferent to what I say in this post or this whole blog. That is your choice if you want to feel crappy or elated. You have the choice to fix your own home or allow outsiders to come in and destroy your neighborhood.

You can allow stereotypes based in fear to propagate or you can stand up and shine a light on the fear that is coursing through your community. If you want to protest good for you! You should but do it honestly and stick to the message. As Americans, we have a duty to protest the injustices we see, but you also have to be ok with people disagreeing with you. Lead by example not by fear. You will never convince a person to change their thoughts by leading in a fear-based argument.

Face that fear

There will times that you will come across those who disagree with you. You have a chance to fight fear. Yet you don’t defeat it by going to a safe room. You defeat fear by facing it calmly and in unison. Much like the peaceful protests of the ’60s No matter what the other side does to you don’t act out of fear. You lose the message the moment you do. That is why so much change happened then. They stayed calm and planted in non-fear beliefs even when Dr. King was killed. The fact that the act of violence happened it allowed the calmer side to prevail.

You can do just that. Stand up for your local businesses that employ the people of your community, even if that business is a Target. Protect your neighbor. Help those who are trying to help. Look at everybody with compassion even if they screw up and say something stupid. You can lead by example and lift each other up out of the reach of the common enemy of fear. When you show your true side understanding grows.

Being angry fixes nothing. It destroys channels of communication way more that it builds. Fear keeps you isolated while standing in courage joins us together. So while so many people in so many cities are raging out of fear and scarcity give abundantly. Show those who are out to simply destroy the door tell them there is no place in your neighborhood for those types of actions. Yeah, they may strike out but each time they strike you become stronger.

So with love for each of you celebrate those who are being brave by facing the those who are living in fear. Help draw the fearful out into the sun. You can show them that it is OK yah bad things will happen but if you face it without fear it isn’t quite as bad as it seems.

The enemy loses much of its power when we shine the light of truth upon it. To do that we have to be fearless. To be fearless you have to be ok with failing and trying and believing that you can do more than what society says is possible.

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About Bryan Goodwin

I like being able to help people find their "why" and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.

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