It’s Friday! and time for some helpful sites that are talking about anger. We talked about how anger can make you feel powerful but in reality, it is compassion that leads to strength. Then on Wednesday, we covered what is anger. So now how do you take care of that anger? especially when you are dealing with others.
The Life Coach School
The first site that will help you with managing your anger is Brook Castillo’s podcast. Her approach to anger and how emotions affect everybody is a fresh take. Her thoughts on emotions and how they affect people are some of the most unique and freeing ways to approach handling emotions especially anger.
Her point? Emotions are only yours. You can be made a person all day long and guess what? They are not going to feel any negative effects from you. You not going to ruin their day with your emotions. Now your actions are different critter all together but the feeling of anger or bitterness they have no effect on the people around you.
The only person your emotions affect is yourself. So being angry only affects you. No one else. So Castillo brilliantly suggests why not feel love for them. It is completely your choice. Why not, feel nothing but love even when that person is more irritating than sand in your underwear.
Maintaining Your Calm
Marc and Angel have a thoughtful post on how to remain calm while others are flying off the handle. The list of 9 different ways that can help you keep the upper and calm hand while everyone else is losing their mind.
The big one is what I use to tell people when they were getting worked up, and that was Breathe! My actual phrase was Breathe you will live longer. Often people didn’t realize they were holding their breath.
Other tips this power couple have are..
Be comfortable with pausing. Make intentional pauses. Let the other person who is shooting steam from their ears fume for a moment. Often the pause gives out the sensation of calm. That in turn often will calm the other person down.
If you are dealing with a person who is just wanting to incite a response then the calm and silent pauses do just the opposite too. You are no fun and they quickly grow bored.
Be Compassionate because you never know what the other person was experiencing all through the day. Also, be kind and compassionate to yourself as Dr. Kolts mentioned on Monday.
Talk Less because like the pauses silence has a calming effect on most people. Those who it doesn’t often show that they are uncomfortable with silence and need input from others.
Yet remaining quiet also allows for you to listen and hear what the actual problem is. This is a big issue in today’s society. Everybody is outraged and yelling, screaming, and making a spectacle of themselves that they don’t realize that nobody is listening to their problems. If you don’t have anybody listening then what’s the point? It’s like banging on a locked door.
Keep a Cool Head Daddy-o
Alright dads we know when you add kids to the mix your frustration levels can reach some major levels. These levels can influence your kids in ways you really don’t want to them too.
So what do you do? Well, Dad University has hinted on how to keep calm with kids. These tips also help when you are around grown-up kids at the office. So what can you do?
Understand what pissed you off. There is a reason why you are ready to go aggro on little bobby, but why? Often it isn’t so much what they are doing but something else that is happening in your life. So If when you feel the screaming mean dad boiling to the surface try to step back and stop for a second.
Another good practice according to Dad U is to get in the habit of meditating. This helps you be more mindful of what you are thinking and why you are acting the way you are. With that type of awareness, you are also able to head off any fear-inducing yells.
Then finally if you can’t seem to be able to control your anger around the kids and family then you might want to see a counselor. All great advice.
So there you go three links that will help you in getting a handle on your anger. Do you have any techniques that help you mitigate and redirect sensations of anger? Over the weekend why not share a time you got really irritated with someone and how you handled it.