There is a skill men need to use and need to share. It is something we all need and that thing is mentorship. Being a mentor to a kid, especially men mentoring boys is a facet of society we have dropped, but seriously need to pick back up again. Now I understand why it was dropped. That is because the media has put the fear that every man is a molester of some sort. That simply isn’t the case in reality. Are the bad men out there? Oh yeah, but there are also bad women out to exploit young kids too. I am getting off track.
This week we are talking about the roles that step-dads have in a blended family. The biggest role and possibly one of the most important is that step-parents are mentors to the kids. How do you mentor? That is what this week’s video is about. How to be a great mentor. It is a TEDx Talk by Kenneth Ortiz on mentoring.
How do you be a mentor?
Kenneth puts up a great point in that there are a lot of videos and talks bout the power of mentoring people, but not many tell you how to be a mentor. He goes on to talk about what needs to be put into a relationship for mentorship to work.
Time
Kenneth points out that mentoring takes time. Lots of time. if you think you are just going to put 30 minutes a week into mentoring guess again. You are going to need to put hours into that relationship. He used the analogy of Zack Hample. Zack has caught around 11,000 baseballs at MLB games. And to catch a lot of baseballs you have to go to a lot of baseball games. If you want to be a great mentor you have to pour a lot of yourself into being a mentor. You have to spend hours and hours talking and spending time with people. It takes a lot of effort to lift a person onto your shoulders.
The best way to mentor is to do it face to face. Let the person see your face. If you can do it in real life then that is the best but video chats work too. If you are going to be a great mentor then you have to willingly give your time.
Have a plan
Now, this doesn’t mean you have an agenda but you have to have an idea on how to help that person who is asking you to mentor.
Encouraging
Now there is a distinction on what to encourage. That is encouraging behavior and choices, not talent. this actually builds a Growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. This allows for the mentee to see his choices are in his power and not the talent that will only get him so far. But encourage them in their efforts.
Correct and direction
To be able to say you’re doing it wrong in a way that will show the mentee that it is OK to screw up it is normal and there is a better way to do it.
