Coaching, Maybe you have heard of it. Maybe you talked about getting a coach to your friends and they ribbed you about needing help crying. Perhaps you have heard them say that if you have so much extra money you can pay me and I will tell you to just buck up. Many people have heard of life coaches, while others have heard of just sports coaches. They are often one and the same yet still vastly different.
There are reasons that coaching has had many different misconceptions. You may have been hit with different skits on Saturday Night Live about life coaching, and yeah there are those people who are in it for the wrong reasons. Yet that doesn’t mean that coaching is not effective. If it wasn’t then there wouldn’t be as big of a demand as there is.
WIth mental health and the self-improvement industry going strong, there is a place for coaches because having a good coach works.
What is Coaching?
This definition I used is sort of tongue and cheek because it is only 2 sentences
Life coaching is a synergistic relationship between an accredited life coach and a client designed to tap into your full potential. Just as Olympic athletes wouldn’t think of training without the added insight, objective perspective and enthusiastic support of an athletic coach, many of today’s most successful business leaders, professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and CEOs use the services of a life coach to take their lives, careers, or businesses to the next level.
Whew! Mouthful right? Coaching be it high-level executive coaching or parenting coaches what we actually do is help people to realize and achieve their goals. We call you out on your excuses and help change your mindset.
What Coaching does
Coaching does work and it does help people who are wanting to achieve a particular goal. There are many different ways and reasons why it helps.
Coaches are Guides
We all get stuck and find that we have some type of mental hang up or problem with our goal that we need to learn about. The different obstacles we face on our paths are placed in our way because there is a lesson that needs to be learned.
If we keep at it we will eventually get it figured out. There is that reward of finally cresting the peak of that hangup and we are able to celebrate. Yet you can do this faster and still learn the life lessons that are needing to be taught. You can do this by having a life coach.
Coaches are able to see the problem from a different angle and we are often mired in the trivialities of the task at hand. So we lose sight of what our objective is. A coach can help you with seeing the different pitfalls and traps that will lay in your way.
If you are caught in one we can help you to find a way out. Coaches are able to explain why this problem is giving you as much trouble as it is. They can also help you discover ways to avoid them in the future. That’s because you face the traps time and again. Yet with each successful test, you become more confident in yourself
The Onion Peeler
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Coaches help you gain a larger view of the goals you are wanting to accomplish. Many times those goals can be quite complex and looking at them as a whole often causes overwhelm and many people fail to even launch their ideas. Coaches can help lead you through the different layers and discover where you need to start.
Taking each piece and helping you examine the who’s what’s and where each layer of the goal offers you a chance to gain valuable insight and experience you need to reach your ultimate goal.
Coaches are often confused with consultants. Coaching doesn’t offer solutions to problems; they help you find the solution to your problem. Consultants come up with the solutions and then they are paid to implement those solutions. This is often why consulting programs don’t hold in businesses. Yeah, a business may make some radical changes to their processes but after the consultant leaves the old ways often creep back in and the business is back as square one.
Consultants often don’t work on the mindset of the problem. They don’t take time to instill the needed culture to ensure that the changes stick. Coaching on the other hand is all about mindset and they focus solely on ensuring that you make those changes and that you are the one who wants the change.
Coaches help by being more of an assistant than they are a consultant. True there are some pretty significant changes made to who you are and what you represent but these are changes you want. Coaches help you instill the shift in personal culture and the drive to become the person you want to be. All by meeting each time and help you in making those mental shifts towards success
Many times when we are struggling we don’t need someone who is there throwing their judgment and opinions at us. We need someone who will hold space for us to be able to process.
Coaches will help by offering a different way to look at a problem and then let you sit with that information and process it. This is because oftentimes when we are dislodging a false narrative we will have cognitive dissidence, and we have to work through that thought process so we can see what is being said is true. Coaching creates changes in beliefs and those old beliefs don’t want to die. Our mind is comfortable with the old way of thinking and it takes work to shift that mindset to a new track.
In the jungle of improving yourself and learning how to lead your family or others, it is good to have someone who has a different point of view. We have friends and relatives who may or may not have your best interests at heart. Many times people are scared of what they see when a person is actually making strides to improve themselves. So out of love, they can actually inject their own fears and apprehensions into you and thus sabotaging your efforts.
Coaches though don’t have the same emotional connection to your past. They see the world is a different light. Coaches are able to guide you through the scary parts. Cheer you on when you are taking massive action. They see when you are setting yourself up to fail and will help redirect your intentions so that you get the most bang for your buck
What Coaching Does Not Do
Now you have a good idea as to what a coach does. Yet, we also need to address what a coach is not. This is where a lot of the different ridicules of getting a coach comes from. People think that coaches are just therapists without degrees. That is not the case at all. While others believe that they are like chiropractors and once you start getting coaches that they just get more and more expensive and their programs never stop. Once you get that adjustment you have to keep going back. Nope, not true. So here are some things that coaches are not.
Coaches are not therapists
In a simplified form therapy is the fixing of your past. You look at all the trauma that happened to you when you were young and get to the root of the pessimist or why you are afraid of commitment because your dad left you when you were 6 years old. WE coaches are not anti therapy in fact I often encourage people to talk to a counselor from time to time because they have some very unique skills in helping you with emotional problems.
Coaches look to the future. We are taking you at the now and helping guide you to where you are wanting to be. So in all reality, if you have a therapist and a coach at the same time you are getting all sides improved at the same time.
Coaches are not councilors
Now there is a difference between a counselor and a therapist. A therapist is very specific in their work and a councilor is a bit broader in their dealings with their clients. Yet again like therapists you have to be licensed to work in the area of mental health. Yet they also work with your past. They help peel the different layers of your emotional dealings with parents and old school rivals and such. Coaches don’t. They can work hand in hand with the councilor and let the superpowers unite.
Coaches don’t deal with the past. We, again, look to the future and guide you to your goals and help lift you to your aspirations.
Not Accountability Partners
Many people sadly look to a coach to be their accountability partner. Yeah, there are some who will be an accountability partner but most coaches look to you to be accountable for yourself. This is a part of the growth process that they will work with for a short while but checking in on you and babysitting you isn’t part of the deal. If you need accountability partners then look to a mastermind as the accountability angle in part of the package.
If you are having trouble getting going and being self-motivated then many coaches won’t work with you because they know that if you can’t do it yourself you will quickly slide back into your old ways when the coaching program is over. That does you no good and doesn’t help the coach either.
Changing how you look at the world and how to approach different challenges isn’t like flipping a switch. Though insights happen in the blink of an eye application of that insight takes time. Your mind will want to slide back into the old ways of doing things because it is easier to do so.
So to think that you can have just one coaching session and get on with your new and improved life isn’t possible. Yeah, you can have 1 on 1 sessions and they can be very helpful. Getting into a coaching program can garner more powerful results because you are applying the changes and reenforcing your mindsets.
Only for Rich People
Many people believe that coaching is only for the rich, the high achievers. The answer is not really.
Ok yeah if you want to have the top-notch power coaches that charge 25,000 for a 3-month session you have to work up to them. The mindsets of people who make that type of money is vastly different from the people who are just crawling out of the swamp on normal folk. You can get coaching that fits your budget. I would throw some caution at free coaching. Yes, it is good and can provide lots of value, but you won’t have the needed skin in the game to make those changes stick. It is better if you can find a way to pay 150 per session for three months than just bounce from free coaching to free coaching.
If you don’t even have that kind of money for the lower-tiered coaches then I suggest doing some personal work on yourself. Face the mindset problems as to why you can’t even give up a few bad Starbucks coffees for the benefit of you and your family.
How does Coaching help?
So how does coaching achieve all the glories that these high level coached claim? What will that money get you if you do take up a coaching program? The details are numerous but I have a few benefits that are present in each coaching session you face.
Goals, you have heard me talk about this time and again. Goals are the road map for the better you. How well do you think you would make it from New York to San Diego without a map? My guess is that you may eventually get there but it will take way way longer and uncountable turn arounds.
Goals are the maps. Like a map, they don’t show every pothole and obstacle in your way. They do however show you when you are making headway. You have measurable progress and you have a good idea as to how close you are to accomplishing your goal.
Coaches help you determine what goals you want to take and at what stage of the program to proceed. This is the big secret of coaching: it is helping you find your goals.
Why couldn’t you get your goal completed? Many times this is because we have a mindset problem. Can’t save money? Well, there is a good chance that there is a scarcity mindset or limiting belief hiding out somewhere.
Coaches help with mindsets. Yeah, there are coaches that specify on just mindsets yet all coaches work on mindsets. That is the number one reason everybody doesn’t get the results they want. Their mindsets and limiting beliefs don’t match what they are trying to achieve. If you want to have a million dollars in the bank you can’t have the mindset that money is evil.
Short cuts lessons life is trying to teach
Anytime you face a challenge in life it is your life giving you a test. Life is a cruel teacher. It won’t let you progress on unless you fully grasp what the lesson is. That is one of the reasons people struggle with the same problems in life over and over again.
Coaching can help you by showing you exercises that help reinforce the lesson that is needed to be learned. Much like a sports coach will have their players practice a drill over and over. Practice makes perfect and if you want to get to that next level you have been dreaming about you need to master the skills needed for that level.
Coaching helps you see yourself. We often go through life and don’t have many deep thoughts about ourselves. Yeah, the internet may have you questioning why we park on a driveway but drive on a parkway, yet why do you really want this objective?
A good coach will ask you questions. Not just superficial questions but questions that spark reflection on yourself. Many times the questions are designed for you to come up with the answer. The solution to your problems is often already known; we are just too scared to look and see that the answer may be way simpler than you believe.
You are actually the only thing that is standing in your way. Your own success is right there for the taking. It takes someone who can see through your limiting beliefs to help you see that fact for yourself.
One of the most asked questions, I have seen is how do I get more confidence to do _____?
The answer does that thing you are lacking confidence in and with experiencing, the confidence grows. It is the rinse and repeats over and over again. That repeated action builds the knowledge of, hey I can do this. We often don’t think we can do a task. Yet and after we do it we then say, I can’t believe I did it!. Yet you were the one who did do it.
Coaching can help you become more self-confident by helping show that mirror of truth to you.
Find your purpose
We often get a crazy idea in our head and then head out. Only to find that the idea didn’t’ have the spirit behind it that we had hoped for. The drive peters out and soon we abandon the cause.
Why? That is the question we fail to ask. Why is this important? Why do I need to do X,Y, or Z? Why Why Why?
When it comes to getting started finding your purpose is one of the most important blocks you need to tackle. Why are you even putting in the effort? Is this really in tune with your true calling? Why does it seem that you have no passion for this endeavor? All questions coaches help you find about yourself when you are in a coaching program.
Help find a plan of attack.
Maybe you have a why. You have found your noble cause. You are ready to embark on an adventure of a lifetime. How do you get started? That is the big question, isn’t it? Coaches have approached this time and again. How do you shove off for parts unknown when you have never been there before?
Coaching can help with your plan. They can guide you through the process of launching into that new world which is you 2.0
Have you ever thought of having a coach? Didn’t really know what a good coach does? If you are interested in having a coaching session then you definitely look here and see what I offer for coaching. We will have an initial discovery session and see if we are a good fit. If you are interested to schedule a discovery call just go to Work With Bryan