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Canceling each other just churns up the water

Cancel the Canceling – EP 45

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Question of The Week

Read Bryan Goodwin‘s answer to My ex cut me out of his life because I was emotionally dramatic. How do I stop being that person? Is it bad to be an emotional person? on Quora

Main Topic

This week we are talking about the current atmosphere in the US there is a lot of contention and lack of communication. We have the right rubbing the very being that drives the left up the wall. We are throwing “evidence” of why one side is right and the other side is wrong. So much that Facebook is almost unusable. I am actually thinking of installing the “Remove All Politics” Extension to my browser. 

Now it isn’t because I don’t like a political discussion from time to time. I was poking multiple bears with a very short stick over on twitter during the first 2020 debate. But I will say that there was no real or honest discussion going on. It was as much a glorious free for all on twitter as it was on the stage. It was a bunch of people saying Trump should be in jail and Biden should be in the dementia wing of the old folks home. 

The problem

Nobody is actually throwing out facts just what they believe and there is a difference.

This brings up why canceling each other doesn’t work. That is because there is no sharing of ideas. The moment someone says something that you don’t like we turn it off. There is no proof of anything being tossed around just “My thoughts matter more than yours!” Because of this we instantly stop listening and understanding the other person. We as people start shoring up our minds for the battering of our heads against the brick wall. It achieves the same results too. It doesn’t improve the standing of anybody and just creates a headache.

So what is missing?

The problem is that we have two sides that are not going to listen. One side yells and screams at everybody and actually achieves their goal of silencing a dissenting voice. Yet that really doesn’t fix the problem at hand. It gets the one side to stop talking but you didn’t change their mind. There were a couple of groups that have done this in the past. They used much of the same tactics as what is being seen in today’s political arena, and that is to silence the opposition. The communists in both China and the Soviets. In China, you can’t say anything bad about the government. If you do you disappear you may get lucky and wind up in a reeducation camp to become politically correct or you may just never reappear because your body is in a grave. The same was happening in Soviet Russia you may be sent to Gulag in Siberia if you had thought against the leadership.

These tactics work but not for long. Like an abusive spouse, people get tired of not being able to think on their own and will start to rebel. Your son may be doing the very same thing. They are rebelling because you are not giving them room to spread their wings.

What needs to be done?

The big thing that needs to be done is to first stop watching television. I am sure you already know who you are going to vote for so watching for evidence to back up your vote is actually not serving you in any way. 

The second is to have an open discussion set the rule for yourself that there is no yelling. Let the other person rant and rave but you will remain calm. Let the other person talk and express their thoughts. Then you can voice your opinions.

Silencing people doesn’t change their minds. The honest discussion is. But be ready for your mind to not be the same afterward because you will grow.

Lesson learned

Yelling doesn’t do anything

Talk and try to understand

Have patiences – You will have time to talk

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About Bryan Goodwin

I like being able to help people find their "why" and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.

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