Its friday! and time for some helpful sites that are talking about anger. We talked about how anger can make you feel powerful but in reality it is compassion that leads to strength. Then on Wednesday we convered what is anger. So now how do you take care of that anger. especially when you are dealing with others.
The Life Coach School
The first site that will help you with managing your anger is Brook Castillo’s podcast. Her apprach to anger and how emtions affect everybody is a fresh take. Her thoughts on emotions and how they affect people are some of the most unique and freeing way to appreach handling emotions espicially anger.
Her point? Emotions are only yours. You can be made a person all day long and guess what? They are not goign to feel any negative effects from you. You not goign to ruin their day with your emtions. Now your actions are different critter all together but the feeling of anger or bitterness they have no effect on the people around you.
The only perons your emtions effect are yourself. So being angry only affects you. No one else. So Castillo brilliantly suggests why not feel love for them. It is completly your choice. Why not feel nothing but love even when that person is more irritating than sand in your underwear.
Maintaining Your Calm
Marc and Angel have a thoughtful post on how to remain calm while others are flying off the handle. THe list off 9 different ways that can help you keep the upper and calm hand while everyone else is losing their mind.
The big one is what I use to tell people when they were getting worked up, and that was Breathe! My actuall phrase was Breathe you will live longer. Often people didnt’ realize they were holing thier breath.
Other tips this power couple have are..
Be comfotable with pausing. Make intentional pauses. Let the other person who is shooting steam from their ears fume for a moment. Often the pause give out the sensation of calm. That in turns often will calm the other person down.
If you are dealing with a person who is just wanting to insite a response then the calm and silent pauses is does just the opposite too. You are no fun and they quickly grow bored.
Be Compassionate because you never know what the other person was experiancing all through the day. Also be kind and compassonate to yourself as Dr Kolts mentioned on Monday.
Talk Less because like the pauses silence has a calming effect on most people. Those who it doesn’t often show that they are uncomforable with scilence and need the input from others.
Yet remaining quite also allows for you to listen and hear what the actuall problem is. This is a big issue in todays society. Everybody is outraged and yelling, screaming and making a specticle of themselves that they dont realize that nobody is listening to their problems. If you dont have anybody listening then whats the point? Its like banging on a a locked door.
Keep a Cool Head Daddy-o
Alright dads we know when you add kids to the mix your frstration levels can reach some major levels. These levels can influance your kids in ways you really dont want to them too.
So what do you do? Well Dad University has hints on how to keep calm with kids. Thesetips also help when you are around grown up kids at the office. So what can you do?
Understand what pissed you off. THere is a reason why you are ready to go aggro on little bobby, but why? Often it isn’t so much what they are doing but something else that is happening in your life. So If when you feel the screaming mean dad boiling to the surface try to step back and stop for a second.
Another good practice according to Dad U is to get in the habit of meditating. This helps you be more mindful of what you are thinking and why you are acting the way you are. With that type of awarness you are aslo able to head off any fear inducing yells.
Then finally if you cant seem to be able to control your anger around the kids and family then you mingt want to see acouncelor. All great advice.
So there you go three links that will help you in get a handle of your anger. Do you have any techniques that help you mitigateand redirect sensations of anger? Over the weekend why not share a time you got really irritated with someone and how you handled it.
I like being able to help people find their “why” and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.