There are studies that say that people who talk to themselves are smarter. I can’t say that is a fact, or not. Many people would question my level of knowledge though I do talk to myself, often.
There is a point to talking to your self. Not just to yourself but to your self. Your inner self. That piece of you that is called the subconscious. When you talk to yourself that inner self or subconscious or subliminal mind hears you and takes action on working through the conversation looking for bits of information that it believes you can use.
The Problem in Mind
Often we actually ask ourselves some really bad quality questions. Say for instance. Why are you so dumb? Why didn’t you think of that first? What on earth do you think you are going to accomplish there. Do you really think you are going to succeed? And you think you are a writer? What makes you think people are going to listen to you? Why are people going to want to take you seriously? You tend to lean to what you think of yourself.
See that problem? If I was to walk up to you and start asking those types of questions would you allow that? No, you would probably sock me in the nose for being a douche, and I would deserve it. Yet we verbally abuse ourselves all the time.
What this does is out subconscious hears these as statements and starts to make them true. So yes you will start self-sabotaging your efforts all because you told yourself that you cant.
Questions offer up so much information yet we seem to often forget to ask questions. how are we suppose to understand what we need to do? Unless we ask questions. What do we think of ourselves? You won’t know till you ask yourself.
Change Your Questions
How do you fix this problem that we all have? First, you have to catch yourself. When you hear yourself saying something like Why do I even try? or Making a statement like, You are a flipping idiot. Stop that thought. Redirect that thought into something more helpful.
Redirect your thought with a question. Now don’t go negative. Even how can I be less of an idiot is negative because you are starting with the premise that you actually are dumb. This community knows you aren’t.
Let your subconscious mind get to work on the task it will work while you are doing other things. It doesn’t really think linear so it will wonder. Another great time to ask yourself a good question is as you are going to bed. Think of the task at hand tomorrow and ask yourself, “How can I quickly get this done?” or “What is the solution to this problem?”
Keep pondering that question as you drift off. Then as you wake up you may have that shower moment. That stroke of brilliance a person can have in the shower as they are waking up. The en again the solution may present itself later on during the day.
Good Questions to ask your self
Questions can vary in their quality. “How do I get out of this jam,” is an alright type of question to ask your self. While How can I get out of this problem with a Win/Win solution? Do you see the difference? Thought I could help by presenting you some high-quality power questions you could ask to keep the subconscious mind entertained.
What does this make possible?
This is the first question to always ask your self when you are faced with a dilemma. What does this problem make possible? Every obstacle has a particular reward so facing the problem and solving the problem gives you experience and better insight into what you are able to do.
So, when faced with a problem it is good to look and see what is the benefit to the problem? Maybe you aren’t as afraid of what people think. It gives you the opportunity to look at your self in a better light. The wins that are possible are easier to realize when you approach your quandary with an accepting mind.
What makes this problem so excellent?
Tiny Robbins asks this question. Like the previous question, this will allow your mind to see that this problem 1) isn’t nearly as bad as you want to think it is. 2) Your mind will approach the issue in a more positive light
There is always something that makes a problem excellent. Now being able to look at it in that frame of mind may take practice. I know I am still working on getting in the frame of mind at times. When I do the problem shows to be a whole lot less troublesome than what I originally feared.
What is the best use of my time?
Stuck on what to do next? Here is a question that will often point you in the direction you are wanting to go.
I am guilty of when done with a task drifting over to Facebook or Youtube with no real direction or purpose. That tactic is flipping on the switch of the time suck machine. I can throw away an hour easily if I don’t have a purpose on Youtube. Have seen what you can do on Red Dead Redemption 2? I know because I will venture over there with no purpose and I wind up watching videos about Red Dead Easter eggs.
If you ask your self the question of What is the best use of my time? Your mind will have a little more power to divert your wondering fingers to the task at hand than to youtube. You will have the purpose and mindfulness to watch what you needed to and then jump off the site and go back to work.
What am I grateful for?
Feeling down a little low in the energy department. Grumpier than you really want to be? Then Ask What you are grateful for. Then write down 2 or 3 things that come to mind. Having gratitude in your life opens up a brighter and happier world. When you are grateful you can’t be in a bad mood.
What 1-3 Things am I going to accomplish today?
Give yourself a task or 3 tasks. If you lay your head down and think what 3 things you are going to accomplish tomorrow. You often find that your to-do list is more focused and created in less time.
Then those goals stay parked in your mind throughout the day as you complete each goal. Asking this quality question helps out tremendously.
What would happen if you completed your goal?
Looking for some motivation? You could use a visualization question like What would happen if I was to complete my goal? With this question allow your mind to run for a while. Let your self look at all the different possibilities of what could happen when completing this goal at hand.
Maybe you are able to start your own side business. Maybe you can take that vacation you have been wanting to take. Perhaps you will be able to go hike the Tetons this coming summer if you get this goal accomplished.
Visualizing your success allows you to know how to are going to achieve that success. Let your mind run and embrace the possibilities.
Are you willing to take responsibility for your mistakes and the attitude and actions that lead to them?
Now, this isn’t a question you ask all the time but is a good question to ask. You might be surprised to find out that many people don’t take responsibility for their actions nor thoughts. Shocking I know.
Yet you will have a stronger and better mindset if you do take responsibility for your actions. If you make a mistake and you have the mindset that you will own your dirt then you will actually be viewed as an honest person and trusted more.
You will also improve your own self worth if you own up to the blunders you have made. You take to heart the lessons learned from each mistake and you grow with each lesson it teaches.
Each action actually also has their own ramifications. So if you own up to the accident or miss step you took people can fix the problem faster. If you actually start leading yourself in a stronger frame of mind.
You are also able to recognize when you are messing up faster and self adjust so that you don’t make a bigger mess than you already have.
Are you willing, however begrudgingly, to forgive yourself and even laugh at yourself?
Ok you know you have messed up. we all do. are you going to spend the rest of the day obsessing about your screw up? You actually learn from your lesson if you aren’t as hard on yourself. Even better if you are able to laugh at your blunder. You create a sense of self-forgiveness and you accept the fact that yeah you are going to make mistakes, big ones along with smaller ones. So laugh at it with an honest sense of humor and learn from it.
Will you look for value in your experiences especially the most difficult ones
Each experience you have has value. The problem we face is that we get consumed in finding the solution. Then we forget to take time to reflect on what we learned. This question helps direct yourself to find the value of those obstacles and problems that come at you on a random Tuesday.
What’s your greatest asset?
What is it that makes you valuable. It may sound like a selfish question and it is. It is actually good to find the value you provide. That way you know what your strength is. You know that darn I am good at _____. This gives you confidence in accomplishing your task and also give you a key into what your passion is.
What is your greatest asset and why it is so good?
Why am I doing what I am doing?
Now, this is not the question you ask yourself after you forgot why you walked into a room. This is so you know why you are motivated to tackle this job. the answer depends on what you are doing. So you can start getting your own clients. Because I want to be able to say I did it.
Find you why write it down and keep it close to you. That way if you ever falter or lose your motivation you have your “why” at hand.
So There you go 10 questions you can ask your self. Each of these questions can help you out of a tight spot if you ever need motivation or inspiration. Your subconscious mind is powerful and has some clout when it comes to getting over a rough spot so try these out. If you have other great powerful questions to ask yourself please share them in the comments below.
I like being able to help people find their “why” and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.