Conquer your obstacles easily with a positive mindset

What Is Your Mindset?

Reading Time: 11 minutes

Growing up I always heard you can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it. I know I said that about my son more than once when he would sneak out of a locked house to go play at the park. When that boy wanted to go outside, he was going outside. He had a getting outside mindset.

I am sure you have heard that and see examples of people who are able to do almost anything. They always seem to land on their feet. Have you ever wondered why that is? How about those folks who just seem to be predestined for easy success?

Many times these folks are subject to jealousy. The other co-workers make snide comments about them. Often thinking that they are cheating in some way that people can’t explain. There are many jeers contain a sentence,”What do they have that I don’t?”

That answer is actually easy. It is their mindset or their mentality, that is their key to success. They look at failure in a completely different way. While many people avoid discomfort there are people who will do what is needed make risks for the overwhelming chance that they will have rich gains. Because these folks have decided to take a chance they also get the reward.

What is a Mindset?

You may not have heard of a mindset. Then again maybe you have and chalked it up to some type of woo-woo belief. Yet let’s reexamine what a mindset is and does.

By definition, a mindset is the established set of attitudes held by someone. Yet this doesn’t really cover what a mindset truly is. Yeah, it does have a bit of attitude, but also you have to truly believe that it is possible. That is where many people have their hang-ups. They have to build up and have a mental shift before they are able to experience success.

The way I see mindset is this, Your commitment to achieving the desired outcome, by perpetuating the positive line of thinking. Yeah clear as mud. It is mind over matter. It is, If you set your mind to it you can achieve anything.

What Types of mindsets are there?

Photo by Waldemar Błażej Nowak on Reshot

There are different types of mindsets and I will touch on the ones I know about. They boil down to two types. There is the positive mindset. Then there is the Negative mindset. Like in Star Wars the negative is easy to achieve. It is the positive mindset or light side of the force that takes practice. Especially if you succumb to negative thoughts.

Here are 5 types of Positive and negative mentalities a person can have. Like I mentioned earlier that are more than 5 but most of them can be worked into these five types. That and I don’t want a 45,000-word blog post. I am also working on a schedule.

Positive Mindsets

Here are 5 different types of positive mindsets or mentalities you can have. Now you don’t have to choose just one. You can have all 5 if you so choose. Which in my opinion is pretty cool.

Growth Mindset

Most people know this mindset. I believe it was coined by Dr. Carol Dweck in that she saw that there were two different types of students in schools. There were those kids who believed that their talents and abilities could be developed. They were not preordained by a higher power. Take Joshua Waitzkin he is known as a Chess prodigy. After he won all he could, he went out and learned Aikido and became a champion in that field. Then learned and gained his black belt for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Joshua doesn’t see himself as a prodigy. He believes he can learn anything as long as he wants to. His talents are based upon the fact that he knows he can learn to be the best.

This is primarily what a passion is. A person likes something to its fullest extent and learns everything they can about it. Children often have this mentality but it is also easy to change this mentality. Especially when a person of influence tells a child the opposite.

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Explorer Mindset

The daredevil has an explorer mindset
Photo by josiah.adelaine on Reshot

The Explorer Mentality is one of those mindsets that is often followed by wonder. These are the people who have a let’s see mentality. If they are posed with a question they don’t wonder they explore the possibilities. Entrepreneurs are often these folks. They have an idea and just blindly step out into the unknown. Whether they know what they are stepping into or don’t have the foggiest clue of where they are going. These folks are after the adventure and experience as much as they are learning.

Do you have a kid who is a daredevil? Try not to hamper his adventurous experience. You may find yourself in the hospital a few times because he is trying to find the best parachute to use for a short hop. Yet the outcome will surely be a success when it comes to adulthood. He will always be willing to try out new things.

Can-Do Mindset

He has a can-do attitude. This is often tied to the explorer mentality. Yet it is also in my thoughts, a bit different. This mindset is often seen in the greatest generation and immigrants. They see a problem and set out to fix it. These folks don’t wait for someone to tell them to get started. They see it and jump right on it.

This mentality is often attributed to people who have strong work ethics. They also can be described as workaholics. Though there are people who are the opposite but use work as a means to escape other responsibilities.

The person who just starts picking up trash while standing around they often don’t need to be told when to get to work. They show up stay till it is done. These people are the true go-getters. They often see issues as problems looking for solutions.

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Leadership Mindset

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There are those who just attract people. Many times they are thought of as born leaders. They can rally the “troops” when needed. Often the have that motivating energy about them that get people to go along even if they don’t really want to. Salesman often has a leadership mentality.

Now, this doesn’t mean that they know everything. Quite the opposite. Most leaders know how and what questions to ask. They realize that they don’t know all the details to they talk to those who are in the know. Quite often General George Washington would stop a lowly soldier and ask him for his input on a situation.

Leaders inherently know how to draw that information out, where to look and what to look for. Then when they make a decision they see it through. They don’t change their mind 37 times in an hour.

Abundant Mindset

This mindset is often attributed to those with lots of money. Some people call them greedy but in reality, they just look at money in a completely different level. These folks believe that money is made. It is not a finite item. An abundant mindset see value is being created every time someone makes a transaction. So nobody walks away from a deal with less than they started.

You are often able to find someone with an abundant mentality just by how they talk. They “make Money”, or “There is more where that came from”.  They can afford that. People often celebrate the success they don’t scorn it. Often you can also hear them being thankful for their wealth. They normally those who are found donating to a charity or organization. That is because they don’t see their wealth as a limit. They will make more as it is needed.

This Mentality is often excoriated by their direct opposite wishing that they were able to have the same amount of money.

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We have now made it to the sad state that is the negative mindset. These poor souls are chained up and limited by the power of their mind. They often try to justify it with statements of being a Realist. Each that is listed is in direct opposition of its positive counterpart.

Fixed Mindset

While the Growth mindset believed they can do something. The fixed mentality is that their talents cant change. Many people go and look for their talent not able to find it. They end up being bitter or full of regret. These folks don’t achieve much because they have tied themselves to their limitations. They find excuses as to why they are not able to finish something instead of learning how to overcome the particular obstacle.

Fear Mindset

These are folks who allow fear to control what they are doing. There are those who have different phobias. So those with agoraphobia lose out of the ability to experience life because they are too afraid to venture outside.

People who allow fear often will subject themselves to more misery just because they are afraid of the unknown. I have a friend who is in a marriage that is far from perfect. Now there is no physical abuse. Yet if I was to call it anything I would say that it is a bad marriage. Husband does things that he knows will irritate my friend and the friend is no angel either she does things to irritate him. She talks often about how she is done with this marriage. SHe wants out. Yet she has stayed for almost 25 years.

Why? Fear. She is afraid to be alone. Her Fear mentality is that she can’t see herself being independent with a child. She would rather put herself through a miserable marriage where nobody is happy. She would rather give up on her own happiness and the pride that goes with it because of fear. That is a fear mindset.

Fear is a powerful motivator. Agreed. Yet, it is also one of the weakest motivators around. The moment you stand up to fear it bows out and leaves. It’s not gone for good but it will leave for that particular challenge.

Lazy Mindset

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The procrastinator, we all get into this mindset from time to time. They have just slain a massive dragon and it is time to relax. That is often the of when it shows up. Another time that the Lazy mindset comes into play is when you have hit your upper limit challenge. Now, this when you have made more money than you ever thought possible and so you decide to coast for a while. “Ah, I am good I don’t need to work today I just landed a huge sale”. That is the lazy mindset setting in.

Now there is a time to let the lazy mindset have its way. Yet, have you noticed how hard it is to re-engage yourself for work when the vacation is over with? It can sneak up on you. If you are not careful.

Victim Mindset

This mindset is a huge problem in the US right now. Look at the news and everyone a victim. Our colleges have young adults who can’t face a little opposition. They have to go to a safe place. You can’t hurt someone’s feelings. Looters are people with a victim mindset. You can even say that folks with a scarcity mindset are also playing the victim.

People with the victim mentality often pass the blame to someone else. It’s not their fault. is a common phrase said by a person plagued with the victim mindset? They often work in the lines of guilt. The3y want people to feel guilty or bad for the victim’s mistakes.

I am sure we have all said, “Why is this happening to me?” That is a victim mindset trying to get a foothold. The victim mentality is a slippery mental state that will and often does sneak up on you.

To battle it the best thing to do is to own your dirt. Admit where you did wrong and take actions to correct it. If you find your self-asking, Why me? or why doe this have to happen now? Stop your mind from building a victim story and admit what you did wrong, Yes to yourself. As Shakespear’s Polonius said

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Scarcity Mindset

photo by Pixabay

Now we are down the those who can’t help but be broke. Those who see money as a limited resource. This scarcity mindset is a dangerous one. It will rob a man blind by using his own will.

Take a person who makes $40,000 a year and has life throw the megamillions winnings his direction. All of a sudden you have put this family into an area they really don’t know how to deal with.

They have a bad view of money. These new winners will not manage their money and will squander it. So in no time they will have completely blown through those millions of dollars and be worse off in debt because of it.

This is because they see money as a source of evil. They have been miss quoting the bible for so long that they believe that Timothy 6:10 says that money is the root of all evil. When in reality that is flat out false and quite the opposite

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows

In other word going after money for the sole sake of money will cause you to wander from faith and this will often cause that person much sorrow and pain.

The person with a scarcity mentality has to go out and earn money. They see that they can’t afford something. They are limited by their funds. If you want to change this mentality best thing to do is to find someone who is a millionaire and ask them what they would do if they had $5000 in their hand.

Can I change my Mindset?

Oh absolutely, and you will. Especially now that you know that there are different types of mindsets out there. Many people never realized that they were limiting themselves. Though they blamed others. When they step back and look at the whole picture those same people realize that they are the holdup. That impossible barrier was self-created.

I will get into more detail ways to you can change your mindset as we go along but right now here are some ways you can start making changes to your different negative mindsets.

Start using affirmations

Yes just like Stewart Smalley

Well not entirely like him, you don’t have to say the “Good enough Smart enough and doggone it people like me” part. There is something about telling yourself affirmations.

The big part of affirmations is that you have to believe them. You have to view that affirmation as true. For Example, “I have all the money I need for Everything I truly want.” I view this to be true. One reason why is because I use to be a smoker and Even when I didn’t have the money for rent but by god, I was able to find enough for a pack of smokes. Another example what if you were told your child had to have a $1000 surgery and without it, they would become disabled. I guarantee that you would be out gathering cans, talking to relatives, doing without the coffee and brown bagging it every day till you had that $1000.

So find several affirmations that you agree with. Write them down and place them on the mirror, and dashboard fo the car. You can also use an app like Thinkup. This app allows for you to record your affirmations that way you can listen to them while you are shaving or driving. I personally think this works but if you read them live you get a get a better effect. Because your brain is sending and receiving at the same time. Much like how goals work better when you write them down.

Get new friends

Another way you can change your mindset is going to be a tough one. If you have friends who are always down. You may need to find other people you can hang around with. The whole show me your friends and I’ll show you, your future line of thinking.


One more for the road read books on a positive mindset. Like The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks is a great book, audio or otherwise. See You at the Top is another book I would recommend because of all the positive ways to shift your thinking.

So there you go. This is the start on the topic of mindsets. I find this particular topic critical to any man’s ability to find balance and success in his life. What mindset plagues you the most? How are you fighting that struggle?

The final solution to helping your mindset is getting outside. Often out mindset is affected by our environment. If you are locked up in an office all day to spend lunch in a park. Instead of going to a bar to unwind try the local park or green space.

You can get my newsletter which will be helping people notice and tackle their negative mindsets so that they can enjoy a relaxed males lifestyle. Sign up below.

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Thanks to Photo by James Pond on Unsplash

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About Bryan Goodwin

I like being able to help people find their "why" and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.

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