The Vilest Word Used by People

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There are many words in the dictionary that I simply don’t know about. There are plenty of words that I know that you don’t use in polite society. Many of these words are used every day and many people overuse those words in my opinion. Yet they aren’t vile. There are better words to use to help your communication be direct and powerful. Yet there is a word that has crept into today’s lexicon of phrases that I simply can’t stand and I firmly believe should be driven out for its blatant miss use.

No, I am not a wordsmith in any form or fashion. You can read any of my blog posts and see yeah this dude is no William F. Buckley by any stretch of the imagination. I know I can have that command of the English language if I was to apply more effort to it yet I choose to not. Yet there are words that are a problem and I want to single one word out for this post, and no that word isn’t Toxic Masculinity. That word is…


If you were to use the word as it is used in today’s society you could say I am triggered by the word triggered. Yet I won’t I refuse to let that word have that type of power over me. This word speaks volumes as to why there is such a problem in today’s society. This word is why so many people believe they don’t have power in their life. They let life happen to them, not work for them.

That is because the word triggered is the epitome of a victim. You can’t help but react because someone triggered you. You are feeling triggered. You are saying that you can’t help yourself because of somebody else. That is a huge lie you are telling yourself and others.

Claiming you are triggered by someone's actions says you are not in control
Photo by Santiago Lacarta on Unsplash

What does it mean to be triggered?

Being triggered by someone or something is best described by using the word properly, and look at it through a gun. You are the bullet in the chamber. You will not fire until you are triggered. So what happens is that some external force is applied to the trigger of the gun. When the force is great enough the trigger will move and set of a mechanical action that causes the firing pin to strike your button, i.e the primer of a bullet. When that happens there is a spark emitted from the primer. That lights the gunpowder in your casing and enough pressure is built up to where you blow your top.

So if we look at this from an emotional angle, Your brother calls you a girl. He keeps it up (applying force) till you throw a punch (you blow your top). So who is at actual fault? Yeah, the brother may be picking on you but it is ultimately your choice to throw down.

You are triggered and you explode at reactions not respond to a situation
Photo by tian kuan on Unsplash

You could have walked away. You could have hung up on him if you were talking on the phone. There are plenty of choices to take other than choosing that you are going to allow your brother to control you.


Yes, saying that you are being triggered by an event or even a word is saying I have no power. This person who is triggering me has taken all control from me and is controlling my actions. Well, I will call BS on that right now.

If you have read anything on this blog concerning victims, you might understand that playing the victim doesn’t allow for people to care for you. It causes people to pity you. You won’t get any respect for playing the victim.

When I hear someone throw their victim card around I ask the one question they don’t want to be asked. What was your part in this scenario?

Victims by their very nature cant build respect. It implies that you have no power over yourself. You are controlled by outside forces why would anyone want to respect that?

You do have control

Yes, you actually do you have choices you can make there is mental work you can do. You are a human being you have agency. You have the full capability of using your free will. It can be scary true. You might even be afraid of what people are thinking. The truth of that is that people aren’t thinking of you. Those that react are too busy taking advantage of being able to control you.

So are you afraid of finding out you can actually do what you want? That is possible but the only way you can do that is to make the choice to take your control back. Stop letting people trigger you. Take back that control box and learn how to control your own emotions.

You can have control and not be triggered
Photo by Daniel Torobekov on Pexels.com

Why would you choose to give up control?

You could decide that you are not going to allow your brother or whoever is “triggering” you and raise your standards. Yet I would ask you to answer why would you want someone who you know is causing you emotional distress to even control you? We often don’t want to have that responsibility of controlling our actions. It is definitely easier to give people control but that never works out to your advantage.

You give up control, and you give up your happiness. You can say that a person makes you happy but that is actually not true. You are the only person who can make you happy. That is because your emotions are your emotions.

woman wearing black cap holding bottle on white speedboat during daytime
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So in all reality, it is impossible for anybody to actually emotionally trigger you in any way. You have made that choice conscious or otherwise to react to a stimulus instead of responding. Where you are able to use the logical thinking part of your brain. You decided to only allow your emotional part of your brain to make the decisions.

Yet you can free yourself from the bindings of playing the victim and find out how much power you truly have with your own autonomy.

Now it takes work to change your victim mindset. Yet doing so can be so freeing. You can choose to not react or you can choose to change your situation. You can choose to better yourself. If you want more help on being able to take that responsibility and start living a life of integrity you can do so by joining The Brotherhood of Men

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About Bryan Goodwin

I like being able to help people find their "why" and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.

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