Goals, without a goal you are going through life aimless. You see those people who are “Dreamers”. They talk about what they are going to do but never go anywhere because they are drifting through life. They are not grabbing an ore and heading to a particular point. They go wherever life takes them. If you are a scuba diver or you have gone snorkeling you know how dangerous that can be. You are caught up in the beauty of the undersea world you are in. If you are not aware of where you are going you may find yourself a mile or more away from where you want to be. You could be swept out to sea or away from the dive boat.
You want to avoid the drift, and it is easy to be caught up in the drift while going through life. A great example is looking at how fast this decade went by. Us older folks can look back and see how fast the last 2 decades went by. It is astounding at the speed when you let life just carry you along. You have to stop and smell the flower and that is a lot of what setting goals do. It forces you to pay attention to what is happening. Are you on the right path? Do you still have your eye on your brass ring or have you drifted off to something else?
As of today, you have one week left till we are in a new year and new decade have you made plans? Have you ever thought of what you want to focus on? Maybe you noticed you are missing a lot with the family or you are growing more and more discontent with your current means of employment. You can make almost any change you want in your life if you are willing to do the work.
Why do goals
As mentioned before goals give you a purpose. Not only is that purpose, a direction, but it also helps you to become clear on what you are wanting to achieve. You may think you want to start a blog. Ok so you start writing and as you go, you realize that you need to have a more specific topic. So your goal may become that you will write 52 posts about a particular topic that you are interested in. The more you focus on yon what your goal is you can see that objective better.
When you have a purpose, your attitude changes. Your demeanor improves. You see the world through a different lens. You start to focus on what will help propel you to your goal as opposed to stumbling in the general direction. Goals do more for your attitude and help you produce an abundant mindset as opposed to thinking nothing ever going your way. Therefore, if you want to be happier you want to have a goal.
Now I am not saying that perusing your goal will cause you perpetual happiness. In fact, it will cause a lot of frustration. That is because you will fail. You will hit roadblocks, and dead ends often. Yet, with the abundant mindset you have helps you build a special form of resilience, where you actually take failures in stride. Instead of running into a wall and saying this is hopeless you will never get this figured out. You will start telling yourself, Well that didn’t work let’s try this instead. Your reliance will become the confidence many men are looking for. Goal setting is the key to any change. You have to have a road map to where you want to go. That’s what goals do. They don’t show you the barriers along the way but they show you where you want to go.
Didn’t you fail this year?
You can look at it like that. Did I succeed at any of my goals for the 2019 year? That really depends on how you are looking at it. If you are solely refereeing to crossing asset goal line then yep you are right I failed across the board. I mentioned in my year review. I didn’t make any money from coaching. I didn’t make any money from any of my Relaxed Male Products. I didn’t go camping 6 times. My fence looks worse now than last year. So no, I didn’t succeed at any goal I set last year.
Yet, because I set those goals, I did go camping 5 times. I found the place that I am going to have my Camp and Coaching live event in May. Because of my efforts, I have hit 2 days of over 125 visitors, and I had two back-to-back days that were 48 visitors. I may have hit that some time down the road but because I tried to reach the 100 visitors a day goal, I accelerated that number. My daily visits are over 20 people on average. That is from my goals.
I could have had the 12 product reviews but there was an unforeseen problem with the oilfield going belly up. That I didn’t plan for, so again I learned a lesson from that big event. That way next year, I believe I can make that goal and achieve it.
So, did I fail? Nope, I learned a heck of a lot about myself and new ways to grow. That is one of the biggest lessons a person can learn from pursuing goals, you learn that you can do it.
So what am I going to aim for this year?
This year I am breaking things up into the Relaxed Male Pillars. The pillars are A Man’s Mind, A Man’s Body, A Man’s Soul, and A Man’s Community. Each of these pillars covers specific but very important parts of a man’s life.
The Man’s Mind cover covers learning. You have to keep learning. The moment you stop learning is the moment you start dying. You never know too much. Therefore, this is the getting smarter pillar of my goals
The Man’s Body is just as it sounds. This is keeping my body healthy. If you see me right now, you will know that I could use a few extra dashes of health. So I will have exercise goals and other health goals tied to this pillar
The Man’s Soul is the pillar of Hobbies and creativity. A man is created in the image of God. So a man by his very nature is compelled to create. Often we don’t create and this causes our soul to stagnate. When we pursue our passions our souls start to sing. We feel more complete when we are creating. Be that creative writing or working on a model airplane if you are creating something you are scratching an itch you have. So this is the hobby and passion pillar.
The Man’s Community is the relationship Pillar. No man is an island. Therefore, you have to have connections in your life. So what are you doing to build new relationships? What are you doing to keep current relationships strong? How are you contributing to your neighborhood, town and the like? This is the hardest for many people. So find civic organizations to join. Get uncomfortable in your town. You will grow the fastest when you are in this element.
So what are my actual goals?
Now that I have explained what my categories are here are my goals for this year.
The Man’s Mind
I am going to read 4 physical books. Now I read a book a month but these books are audiobooks. At the beginning of each year, I listen to my favorite book of all time and that is Atlas Shrugged. This book talks about what would happen if the producing people of the world stopped producing. It helps me keep focused on the fact that producing a product is a righteous activity, and just because I produce something doesn’t mean I am guaranteed success. I have to make something that is quality. I have to serve my fellow man. With that service, I will have a better chance of success because I have earned that right to my success. I cannot be successful in my life without earning it.
So what books am I going to read? I really don’t know. They are going to be nonfiction for sure I will be learning more about my field of coaching and possibly camping. I am looking at different psychological topics too so I can understand why humans do what we do. I will show each book as I start to read it and as I keep plowing through it to the end with a review of that book afterward.
I will also be aiming to be coached 4 different times at the minimum. The reason why I want to be coached is that I want to succeed. How am I going to expound on the benefits of coaching if I am not actively coached myself? Therefore, I will start with being coached 4 times this year. If the ability arises then I will exceed that with more coaching. Who will coach me? I don’t know as of yet. I know that I will start with Brook Castillo’s group I may have Dan Miller’s coaching group also. If I can, there are a few other folks I would love to be coached by also.
Finally, I will also partake in the 3-day effect 4 times. Therefore, this will be where I camp for at least three nights. So that I get 3 full days out in nature. I want to allow my mind to slow down and focus more intently on my other objectives.
The Man’s Body
I am not a lard butt. Yet I am a 200 lbs. man who is carrying 80 extra pounds. I am going to start ditching this fat in a couple of ways. First, I am going to be 50 pounds lighter. This is the start and when I lose this, the last 30 pounds will be quite easy. The reason for only 50 is that I see many mindset problems I will have to tackle first. I will have to come to grips with whatever emotions I am hiding from. I am going to be changing my view of myself. I will like who I am, and I will be good with the shape of my posterior, even if it is larger than it needs to be.
I will also become an active person. I think my biggest problem with my weight is that I sit and eat. Therefore, I will not be sitting as much as I will be from January 1st walk for a minimum of 15 minutes each day. I know I am a walker I just have to reconnect with that desire to pound sand.
The Man’s Soul
My passion is helping men to find the mindset so they can conquer their world. I do this through coaching masterminds and live events. I help people understand how they can change by producing for this blog and podcast and videos. I want to be able to reach as many men as possible. Help those men who are frustrated with where they are in life, shift that mindset, and remove the limiting beliefs they have that hold them back from the glory and success they want to have. Therefore, my goals are the following
Camp and Coach Event will have a full group. That means there are 12 men who show up and attend the camp and coach event.
I will become a master coach through The Life Coach School. This is a lofty one and is very expensive. Yet because of that, I like the message that Brooke Castillo presents on how to coach people.
I bring in 4 coaching clients I want to be able to help 4 men with their mindset and other obstacles they are facing.
Then finally, because it brought so much success to me so far I am going to keep aiming for 100 visitors every day. This will give me such a bump every time I get it even if it is for one day.
The Man’s Community
For this pillar, I will be having a date night with my wife. We have been married for 23 years. We gave so much to the kids that our relationship has been put on the side. So it is time that she gets some attention. So my goal is to have a date night once a week. It may not be elaborate all the time but there will be elements that she hasn’t received yet never complained about.
I will also be having phone calls to both moms in my life. Now I already try to talk to my mom each weekend. I am also trying to repair a family tie that I abandoned 20+ years ago. The reason why will be the topic of a different blog post or podcast episode. So I will be calling both moms once a week.
I will find a community organization to join. This will be a bit of a challenge. I have to find one that is active on the weekends. If I can’t find one then I may need to see about creating a group so that people can come together. However, it comes about I need to start getting closer to my community. Doing so will help me as I help others.
Therefore, as you can see I have many goals that are in play. Yet you may be asking I thought you liked SMART goals? I do and each of these goals fits the smart goals.
They are very specific
They are measurable. Some are a simple yes or no. When I reach it that is the goal marker.
Each of my goals is Attainable. There is nothing listed that can’t really be reached, even my huge goal of becoming a master coach. That one may not be fully attainable in all honesty because I don’t know if it takes over a year to do all the assistant coaching steps. However, if I get to that point I am finishing it short of a global disaster. I will be a certified coach. So once I start on that path I will have made it in my book.
Each Goal is also relevant to the pillar it is tied to. That pillar is tied to who I am and it is making me better.
I didn’t mention a timeline but all goals are due by December 30, 2020. Therefore they all are timely.
My three words
I also like to do Chris Brogans Three word theme
Which my 3 words are Phone Smile Work
So these are my goals some are huge and others will take lots of work. Some will just take time and experimentation. Do you have any goals? Share with me what your goals are. If your goal is to improve in some area of your life I do have coaching you can sign up for. The first call is free so that we can get a feeling for each other and see if we are going to be a good fit. If you want to have a coach for the up and coming year, please sign up. If you want to be a part of a group of men who will help, you achieve your goals The Conclave of Men can help you do just that so you might also look at joining too.
Either way, set your goals and pursue them you will be a better man for it. So here’s to 2020 A year better than the last.