Being Ok with failures. They may suck but you can make it fun.

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Do you remember learning to ride a bicycle? I do wow that was rough. How about learning to tie your shoes? Something tells me that you didn’t get that right the first time you tried to get the bows right. Am I correct? If you are a gamer how many times did you die going up against Imlerith in The Witcher III: The Wild Hunt? I am sure you died once or if you are like me it several tries. Maybe you are trying to start a business of your own. How did easy was it for you to start? I bet you may have tried a few times to start and have gotten no clients. Why is that? Answer to all of these is because you didn’t know how at first.

Anytime you try something for the first time you fail. You run headfirst into an unperceived wall and then what? Many folks just stop. Especially if you have a fixed mindset, you don’t think you can learn something or it is too hard and so you just go off in another direction with something different.

Failing at something isn’t the end of the world though there are times it will seem like it is because trying something new is scary and wrought with perils. Those warnings of “there be Dragons ahead” is a big enough warning to keep the majority of people from even venturing to realize their dreams. They worry about what their friends will think. What if it changes you, and you will lose your friends? Perhaps your new adventure could cause you financial ruin. What are you to do then? The answer is Try again though most folks give up. You may have to step back and gather more resources before you try again but the choice is up to you.

Many people fear to fail. It sounds horrible and embarrassing. You may have friends and family members who are not fully engaged with the thought of putting yourself so far out there. They see only the cliff while you see all the possibilities that layout before you. There is a risk. You might lose some friends. They are comfortable in their world of mediocrity so they are not going to be willing to make the journey with you. There are potholes and unexpected dead ends when you navigate the maze of learning how to do something new, especially when that something new involves making yourself better. There are going to be pitfalls that is why so many people don’t even try. They are too scared to step out of their cave.

Yet going out and trying something new getting outside of your comfort zone has many benefits, and with the right frame of mind, you can even look at trying something new as actually being fun. Here are some reasons that failing is actually a good thing.

Failures are teaching experiences

Every time you try something and you fail you learn something. The obvious is that you learn what not to do. You also learn what you are capable of. Like a bodybuilder doesn’t know how much he can lift till he fails. If he lifts 100 pounds and stops then how is he suppose to know if he can lift 200 pounds? If he can lift 200 pounds but not 205 pounds then he knows his limit and he could only learn that after failing to lift 205 pounds.

Everything about stepping out of your comfort zone is a teaching experience. You find out all the information you need to know before starting is a period of learning. You can only get that from being taught from websites or from talking to other people. If you don’t learn you will keep hitting the same failure point till you learn the lesson that barrier is trying to teach ya.

It prepares you for success

have you ever seen people who have won the lottery or have received a large inheritance? Within a few short years, they have gone through all of the money and have nothing to show for it.

Why is that? There are two reasons for this. First of they don’t see themselves at that particular value. So when they come into a large amount of money that is higher than what they value in themselves they quickly try to get rid of it. This is where they start giving it away to family members and friends. This is because they have an upper limit challenge.

A common example of this is if you bring people from poor areas of town and start trying to place them in upper-middle-class neighborhoods. Soon the lower economic class brings their families and friends over and with them come the broke down cars and the mindset of being poor. Eventually, this mindset permeates the neighborhood and as the property values decrease because the crime rates increase. The neighborhood starts to look and feel like the place they were escaping.

The same can be said about if you move an upper-middle-class family into a poor neighborhood. They start painting the house making their house look nice. This raises up the property values of the neighborhood and soon the poor neighborhood has a rejuvenation, and more upper-middle-class folks move in and they together make the old rundown neighborhood better.

I understand some people will want to say that this example is wrong. but just look at Harlem in the ’70s and ’80s and look at Harlem now. The difference is astounding. This isn’t because of any haves or have not’s. It is because people who have been prepared for success have a different mindset around money and how to think of money.

The second reason is that you have to develop skills to be successful. If you were to jump into business as CEO without first learning the ropes you would not have the foggiest clue as to how to run a multi-billion dollar company. Working your way up to success changes your mindset about money and grants you the needed skills for being successful

A great example of this is Robert Mugabe and his thinking that white farmers in Zimbabwe were too successful. Mugabe had a scarcity mindset and in doing so drove the people who were successful out and people who didn’t know how to farm took over the farms without knowing how to grow. They thought they were instantly successful.

Shortly after seizing the farms there was hyperinflation and famine. This isn’t because of racism but a scarcity mindset that the people who took over possessed. They also had no skills for major agricultural operations. They were not prepared for the level of success they received and in doing so their farms failed and the famine quickly followed.

Lets you know what didn’t work

This goes with building skills. How are you supposed to know what you don’t know till you start working towards a goal? As you progress and take bold actions you learn that different obstacles are in your way of success.

These unforeseen barriers are often what hangs people up but if you can get by the problem you are one step closer to your goal. You wouldn’t know what would or would not work unless you took the time to try.

It gets you one step closer to succeeding

With each step, you get better and better. No matter how small the step seems you are closer. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. It does take courage to take that first step. As mentioned before you don’t know what lies ahead. Many people fear that there are going to be dragons and other challenges that are going to too difficult to surmount.

Yet when you beat that level and you climb each step you are closer to that summit that is your goal. You can only see the glories and wonders as a reward for putting in the effort. So to get to the top of Mount Everest you have to face all the same obstacles as Sir Edmond Hillary, and he did it one step at a time.

You have more courage

Are you brave enough to get uncomfortable? Many don’t think so and therefore stay in their cave. They refuse to venture out and see the beauty that lies before them.

The only want you can have courage is to try it. once you do it you will be viewed as the braver one. You become the leader of your tribe because you did something others didn’t think was possible. Look at Roger Banister, he was told it was impossible to run the 4-minute mile. It was proven to be impossible until Roger broke that barrier. Shortly after that many people started to run the mile in under 4 minutes.

With each success, you gain the knowledge and that knowledge gives you the confidence to face the next level which is just as scary.

You find new opportunities

How many options can you have on starting your business or whatever goal you have? Maybe you want to lose weight? There are many different options available to you. You could have surgery or maybe you want a keto diet. Or perhaps you are going to decrease the number of calories you are going to intake and start moving more. There are many ways you can lose weight but you won’t know till you try one option and see if it works.

Failure shows you that one path isn’t for you so you have to try a different path. Each path you fail at in trying opens u the possibility of another. To do so you have to try and try again. Yeah, it will be painful at times while other times it will be just, Rats a dead end.

It helps you connect

One of the best ways to learn from failure is to learn for the failures of others. This does mean you have to connect with other people. Often these people will become close friends of yours as you progress on your journey.

As you share your journey you open yourself up for others to help you. That vulnerability of needing help allows for people to connect. The more you connect with the more options open up for you. All because you failed at something and kept trying while also asking for help. Asking isn’t failing. It is growing.

You learn that you are stronger than your fear

There are times that failing can smart a good bit most of the time it is your ego that catches the brunt of the bruising but rarely does a failure cause death.

Failure is an event, not a person

Zig Ziggler

But with each success, you find out more and more about who you are and what you are fully capable of doing. You are stronger than you believe. You can handle far more than you think is possible. The human mind is incredibly resilient. Yet to find that out you have to fail.

It is really an adventure

Finally, life itself is an adventure, and each challenge you face can be an exciting change. If you welcome any challenge that comes your way, your mindset becomes abundant. you are open to learn and explore the different possibilities that lie before you.

The failures you face are frustrating at best, but they are needed for you to grow. Like the bodybuilder, you have to face the discomfort of breaking your muscles down so that they can be built back up. Doing so makes you stronger and better than before. That is why baptism by fire is often one of the best make or break moments you can face. you can fail and if you believe it is alright then you will succeed. Not tomorrow or the day after that but you will succeed.

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About Bryan Goodwin

I like being able to help people find their "why" and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.

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