When it comes to being married, there are many things men look for in a wife. There are the common things of wanting beauty, brains, and independence, but there are also other aspects that don’t show up until you’re well into your matrimonial journey.
These are things that don’t necessarily get thought of right off the bat. The topic I want to talk about are items that are typically easy to hide or dismiss during dating and engagements. Yet, after a while, if a man doesn’t see these five traits in the woman he is married to, it can cause him to become distant and disconnected. These are traits that can be changed. This is because with anything in your life, thoughts create your results. A person can create.
Men will thrive and be loyal when the five traits they need in a marriage are met, but those who are thirsting for one of these will notice immediately. So I’m not saying that if your wife or girlfriend doesn’t show any of these traits that you need to get rid of her, but it does help for you to voice what you are hungry for. What you need from your wife is to be able to provide what she needs. Many times, we men know we need something, but we just don’t have the words that best describe what we want.
Someone who will challenge him
Men love the sense of accomplishment. We love to be able to feel that we have met and conquered one of the 12 labors of Hercules. This is why we are often doing rather strange things, like seeing if we can make a flamethrower out of old coffee cans.
Their wives can provide the energy needed for the challenge. That challenge may be to increase their value so that they can make more money. It may be that the husband brings teenage boys into Noble manhood. Can the wife? Yeah, but it doesn’t come as naturally as how men help direct and discipline boys can direct them toward the path of noble manhood.
The wife has more power than women study professors want to admit. Women can take a motivated man who is in the midst of moving a mountain and drain him of all energy with a simple nag, nagging is not a way to challenge men. Nitpicking does not accomplish the goals either.
This is a big reason to keep the four pillars of The Relaxed Male strong? Can the wife compel the husband to stay adventurous and to continue to date his wife and keep her as his girlfriend? She gets what she puts into her man. If she is continually taking motivation away from a man
There are many different avenues men can take that will give them the challenge, the drive, and the sense of fulfillment and accomplishment, and many of those come from their wives.
The wife is also able to be the cheer squad and the muse to her man’s endeavor. She can compel him to stay in shape. She can compel him to stay on the path to become a better, stronger, more noble man.
However, nagging is not the challenge that will compel him to be better. Nitpicking does not accomplish the goals either. These acts tear a man down, not build him up.. When either person comes to the problem with a sense of being better, it’s not helping the receiver of the advice. It isn’t helping anybody.
So men, you want to look for a woman who you wanna show off for. You want a woman who will cheer you on as you go on your adventures. You want a woman who is independent enough to let you go hunting for a week, but is independent enough that you can stay home while she goes out for a week too. To be able to do this, you both have to be in a partnership. You have to have each other‘s backs. You have to have enough emotional fortitude that when she calls you out on your BS, you can take it. You become better, you’re willing to sit there and listen to what’s going on. At the same time, you need a woman who is willing to stand there and listen to what you have to say, also. It’s a balancing act. It’s a tough balancing act, but when you find a person who is willing to lean into the conflict intimacy, completely? She will be the rocket fuel for your adventure.
Someone who accepts him as he is
Men, how many women have you dated who tried to get you to change something about you? You hear your girl talk about how she wishes you would stop doing one thing and start doing it her way. Women, how many times have you gotten a guy that you saw as a project? Somebody you wanted to change to be who you wanted them to be.
We often try to change people. We try to alter a person‘s characteristics because they do something that is annoying to us. Man, we do this to our wives. Wives, you do this to your husbands. The problem with us changing people is that when we do succeed in changing them to who we believe we want, we suddenly don’t care to be around them anymore. I’ve known several guys who capitulated to their wife’s demands. They do something that was against their nature and character then five years down the road, the wife is complaining that you’re not the same person.
First off, it’s good that you aren’t the same person. You should be somebody completely different five years down the road. We should always be changing and developing growing. However, these changes should be based on what we want to improve. Yet this is also an argument as to why you need to accept someone completely.
Now, does this mean that your spouse has no say in how you’re improving yourself? No. They have the right to voice their opinion. Yet again, this is just an opinion. It is just a thought that is being shared between two people. Does the opinion that it’s going to be bad mean that it’s gonna be bad? No, but it also doesn’t mean that it will turn out good either. So you want to hear what your wife is concerned about when it comes to what you’re doing, then you make a decision. Your wife is your number one consort when it comes to making choices. So hear what she says. Take it to heart. Mull it over before you just make a snap decision, because we want our woman to accept us for the human beings that we are.
That includes us being emotionally and mentally messy from time to time. We will break down into two emotional lows, and that doesn’t mean that suddenly we’re no longer worthy of her respect or love. There are times when our wife will be angry and upset. Again, that doesn’t mean she has thrown us out with the bathwater. It just means that she has her own set of emotions and thoughts that she is dealing with at that moment, and you can be there for her the same as she can be there for you while you try to sort out the issues.
Someone who is willing to go on the adventure
Now we talked about adventures earlier. When I say adventures, I mean the pursuit of a passion. Yes, we want to pursue our wife. We want to pursue her as a girlfriend and as a lover. However, men also need these challenges, these obstacles, for us to overcome. Again because we need a sense of fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment. Women get a little nervous when we start up a new passion. The worry that she has is based on the thoughts she has about the circumstance. Ththoughts may be, “Oh, how much is this gonna cost us?” Or, she may end up having the thought that your adventure is going to drag your attention away from her and the kids. This could be true, but you are able to apply attention and energy to your relationships while also pursuing your dreams, passions, and desires for fulfillment.
The challenge is to balance your pursuits with your responsibilities. That can be an adventure within itself if you allow those types of thoughts to run.
Someone who will satisfy him
Now this one will irritate the feminists to no end. This is because a man does need a woman who is willing to satisfy him. Now, I get how that sounds sexist and chauvinist, however, when a man is satisfied, he’s not going to be looking for other places for nourishment. That is emotional nourishment, that is intellectual nourishment, that is all types of intimacy that he needs.
One thing that many of the feminists don’t understand is that when a man is satisfied, he is willing to go across a burning desert of broken glass on his hands and knees to bring his dear wife a cool, refreshing glass of iced tea. When a man is satisfied physically, he’s not going to cheat. He can have a naked woman stand on top of his desk, and he would be irritated that she is messing up his papers. If a man has a woman who is willing to satisfy her man, that man will return the favor and not question why he is compelled to support his woman.
This may sound crude, and actually it is, but it serves a point. There’s a saying: keep a man’s stomach full and his balls empty, and he’ll do anything for you. And that’s basically true, especially when you include the following.
Someone who will respect him
The one major trait for a marriage that men seek is that they want to be respected in their own marriage. They want their wife to respect them. They want their kids to respect them. This is the same as having friends who respect each other. Respect for men is incredibly important.
Sadly, though society has done everything possible to disrespect the father and husband in a family. Feminists have complained about actions that men take when they are not respected. They like to use words like malicious compliance, or weaponized incompetence.
These show up when a man has been disrespected over and over. He’s trying hard to do what needs to be done with as little information as possible. Yeah, when he gets it wrong because he guessed incorrectly on a detail, he doesn’t see it as important, like the brand name of some type of olive oil, and the wife gets angry at this.
The man feels incredibly disrespected because often the responses are “well, you should know”. Why? It only offends the other person because of their thought on the circumstance. The thought that someone brought home butter and not Parkay. A woman is angry at a man because he’s not thinking like a woman.
There are differences between the sexes, whether society wants to admit it or not, and what men hone in on versus what women hone in on is often used as a weak point in the relationship. It is a means for feminists to attack men because the man in questin simply doesn’t care about the brand name of some type of cooking oil. He would be just as happy with bacon grease as he would be with high-quality olive oil.
If you want a man who is dedicated and loyal to you, the number one most important item is that respect. Respect that he is doing what he can. The respect to understand that his means of thought is different from the woman’s means of thought. To respect that the husband and the father are going to raise the kids differently, and it’s not against the knowledge of the wife. It is actually in conjunction with the knowledge of the wife when women can respect what men bring to the table, men respect the women, and that relationship becomes powerful.
When you can mix these traits and more together in a marriage, that marriage will last. It’s not always smooth sailing, but you will have true love, commitment, and respect in the marriage. The kids will be more at ease when you have a husband and wife who have a strong physical relationship, when the husband and the wife truly and honestly respect each other. When the husband and wife look forward to the adventures of life. When the husband and wife lovingly encourage each other to grow and develop, and become better people all around. Whether that’s through church or some other means, men need these traits present in their relationship to be able to have the gas in the tank to go the distance for their family.
