In this episode, we dive into the topic of emotions and how they can sometimes hurt. As a men’s coach, my main goal is to assist men in navigating their struggles and finding ways to live life on their own terms. I highlight the significance of understanding our thoughts and how they impact our overall ability to fully experience life. Additionally, I mention that I am testing out a new audio setup and extend an invitation to listeners to join me for a live coaching session to celebrate the 200th episode. I provide instructions on how to sign up for the session and encourage new listeners to subscribe to the show. Furthermore, I discuss the advantages of utilizing podcasting 2.0 apps and invite listeners to follow me on Pod Fans. Although I find it challenging to explain podcasting 2.0 in detail, I provide links for listeners to explore different apps for podcasting 2.0 at relaxedmale.com/podcast20 .
Moving on to the topic of emotions, I emphasize that negative emotions, particularly fear-based ones, can feel like physical pain and become overwhelming. I encourage listeners to examine the thoughts that trigger these hurtful emotions and question why they experience pain from negative emotions. It’s crucial to recognize that life is a mixture of both positive and negative emotions, and avoiding the negative ones only leads to an incomplete and unfulfilling life. I stress the importance of embracing and processing all emotions in order to fully appreciate the good moments. Emotions are simply vibrations in our bodies—some pleasant, some unpleasant—and their intensity and impact depend on our thoughts.
Fear-based emotions may feel sharp and uncomfortable, but they are not actual physical pain. They are merely the vibrations created by our thoughts. By avoiding negative emotions, we miss out on the complete range of human experiences. Next, we delve deeper into our tendency to view negative emotions as painful and something to avoid. We use an analogy of wearing comfortable shoes to shield our feet, while individuals accustomed to negative emotions are like those who can walk barefoot on rugged surfaces without pain.
When we avoid negative emotions, even minor difficulties become challenging to handle. However, if we confront and work through these emotions, we can build resilience and discover that life has its ups and downs. By expressing our emotions and seeking support from others, especially our “band of brothers,” we can better process what is happening in our lives. Continuous efforts to avoid emotions only lead to amplifying worries and ultimately trouble. We also discuss how our thoughts generate emotions.
If we constantly ruminate on these thoughts and emotions, they can snowball and prolong our suffering. However, by processing our emotions and allowing them to be, without overthinking, the actual emotional experience tends to last only a short time. The pain we may feel from past events is not solely due to the emotions themselves but rather our continuous focus and attachment to those emotions. It’s common for us to avoid feeling sadness and resist it, but this approach only allows the emotion to grow and linger. Instead, it is beneficial to examine the emotion, feel its sensations throughout our bodies, and describe it in detail.
By facing and accepting our negative emotions, we can allow them to run their course, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and complete experience of life. Society often promotes the idea of avoiding pain and striving for constant happiness; however, this perspective is neither realistic nor healthy. Negative emotions are a natural part of being human and can even contribute to personal growth and joy. If individuals require assistance in processing and transforming these negative emotions, seeking coaching or therapy is highly recommended. Through coaching, individuals can gain more control over themselves, enhance their relationships, and become the person they desire to be.
To schedule a coaching consultation, visit relaxedmale.com/coaching .
Lastly, I express the importance of seeking therapy if needed and encourage listeners to find a therapist who can help them address and improve their past experiences. Additionally, I extend my gratitude to the listeners for their support and encourage them to share the podcast with their friends and family through various platforms such as Facebook and Instagram.
By spreading the word about the show, we can reach more men who may be struggling and help them find their path towards living life on their own terms. Thanking the listeners for their continuous support, I conclude by wishing everyone well until the next episode.
00:00:00 Understanding the Pain of Emotions and Feelings
00:00:39 Introduction: Brian, the certified men’s coach
00:02:04 Announcement: Episode 198 and upcoming live coaching session
00:07:00 Unexpectedly diving into Podcasting 2.0
00:08:17 Analyzing the root cause of hurtful feelings
00:10:48 The Importance of Embracing Both Good and Bad Times
00:12:27 The Impact of Thoughts on Emotions and Vibrations
00:15:09 The Consequences of Avoiding Negative Emotions
00:18:12 The Cycle of Thoughts and Emotions
00:20:03 The Duration of Emotions and the Importance of Processing
00:20:28 Avoiding Sadness and Letting Emotions Grow
00:22:13 Facing Pain and Allowing Emotions to Run Their Course
00:24:27 Don’t Fear Negative Emotions, Welcome Them
00:26:07 Try Coaching for Free and Discover the Power of Coaching
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What are you telling yourself when you are feeling hurt?
Feelings are half the time unpleasant and uncomfortable Yeah the other half is Nice and pleasant
many times we want to avoid the pain of our emotions yet that pain is nothing more than a vibration felt throughout our body.
Now when it comes to emotions our thoughts create our emotions. That means when you have a thought about how your relationship is falling apart you are going to express emotions that relate to that. The thoughts of you failing your wife aren’t going to generate pleasant feelings throughout your body. We also have thoughts about our pain and those are completely different from the original thought.
Now this is where most of us get ourselves into trouble. Because we take the circumstance that we are sad mad or whatever fear-based emotion we are feeling and compound that with a thought we are having thoughts that we are sad. Are we ever going to not be sad, or I shouldn’t be sad, I should be happy. And that thought and the corresponding emotions you have with it create the resistance you experience. This is why we buffer and avoid our emotions
So how do you stop feeling the pain of that emotion?
You don’t! This is where so many people want to run and eat their emotions or drink till they can’t remember. Yet the solution to living a 100% of your life is to feel the 50% pleasure and the 50% Pain. Both of those sides of the human experience are needed to fully live life to the max.
Good news it’s just a vibration! It will not hurt you and that is the big work we do in my practice we experience the vibrations, especially the unpleasant ones. You eventually find out that the unpleasant emotions are a lot like a fun house. It is a but anxiety anxiety-ridden at first but on the other side, you are laughing and having a good time.
