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HomeRelaxed Male BlogThe 4 PillarsMan’s MindPushing Through the Perfection

Pushing Through the Perfection

Does everything have to be perfect? There are some folks who would say yes to that question. They toil and fret over every minuscule detail. With the holidays just around the corner, many people are going to extreme lengths to give out the impression of perfection. They have to have their house just right. They have to have their tree just right. If the turkey doesn’t have juices squirt just the right distance it is to dry. 

We push our sons to be perfect in school. Our daughters have developed eating disorders because they have a little pooch on their belly or they are worrying that they’re not well enough endowed in the right areas. 

You men are not impervious to working toward perfections either. Whether it is pushing their sons to be the best at sports or trying to start their own business. We often fall prey to perfectionism too.

The problem is that trying to get it all perfect or to be perfect simply doesn’t work. It is an excuse that does nothing but holds you back. It is actually better to get started and work the details out as they arise.

Why Perfection Doesn’t Work

There are many reasons that aiming for perfection doesn’t work. The reasons are numerous and vary from person to person, but there some overarching reasons that I want to talk about.

It’s impossible

The number one reason for reaching for perfection doesn’t work is that it is flat out impossible. Yeah, there are times that we get lucky and things arrive just as we hope but that is rare. 

When you aim for perfection we start to overshoot the target and then we get ourselves busy with overthinking the over thought. So for the majority of us, perfection is next to impossible. 

It is far better to aim for B- quality. Some people say to go for C+ quality. However, if you are wanting perfection that may be too low of quality for you so take it a step up to B-. 

rope dew brown beige
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If you are wanting to launch a product just get it working. That is the best tactic. After you launch you can make the needed adjustments. You can work on the copy for the sales page. You can find all the miss spelled words in your course material as you go. Trying to get all those ducks in a line just won’t happen. 

Also, give yourself grace. Accept that it isn’t perfect and those fears that are ringing in your head are just your thoughts. Nobody, who buys your product is thinking you are a moron because you can’t get the word restaurant correct.

Perfection is procrastinating

You may know a professional conference-goer. That is those people who are always attending a conference for one thing or another but they never apply the knowledge they have gained. That is because they want to know everything they need to know before they launch. 

Maybe you have seen people who have shelves and shelves of marketing books but never have started their business. Maybe you know an artist who has never shown their work because they don’t think they have good enough connections or their work isn’t quite good enough.

All these people are actually doing other things than launching their product. They are using perfection as an excuse to procrastinate. This is also called paralysis by analysis

Don't over analyze your project you can't make it perfect.
Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

Maybe you have done the same thing. Not doing something you know needs to be done but you haven’t got it just right. Yet no matter how much more you work on it you are using the job at hand so you don’t have to actually face the music.

Don’t wait for perfection get it out in the world you can make it better later.

It leads to frustration

Wonder why you aren’t getting people interested in your product? As we mentioned before perfection is impossible. So trying the impossible thinking that you are going to be able to achieve it leads not to success but leads to frustration. 

The harder you try to get your project just right the more frustrated you become. You will find that you are getting in your way of living a life you want if you strive to be perfect instead of just letting people see what it is you have been working on.

Broken Dreams

With that frustration, you start questioning your why. You start wondering if your dream of running your own business is even worth it. You start suffering from burnout. Then if you still don’t launch you may end up giving up

There is nothing worse than letting a dream die on the vine. To have the heartache of knowing that your dream is possible if only you could have gotten everything just right. You see other people who have the same idea make it though. Why? They were not aiming for perfection.

Don't give up on your dreams because you are trying to be perfect
Photo by João Vítor Heinrichs on Pexels.com

Kills Creativity

When you aim for perfection and you become obsessed with getting something perfect, you actually kill your creativity. You stop being able to see the forest for all the dang trees. You lose sight of what is needing to become because you have developed tunnel vision for a certain goal that you actually can’t reach.

If you are able to let your mind focus on other things. You are able to let your creativity breathe and expand. So, if you are stuck then let it go for a while. Come back to it with fresh eyes. You will often see the solution hiding out right there in front of you the whole time. You cant only do that if you stop obsessing over the perfection of your project.

Your Mindset Becomes Fixed

Perfection will also cause you to enter a fixed mindset. This is where you are depending on your talents and knowledge instead of learning from the experience. You start finding yourself getting more and more frustrated because you will not be willing to learn where the problem is. You will be frustrated because you are wanting to focus on your talent not that the process is about learning.

To get past this it is better if you aim for progress instead of perfection. Get one thing done instead of trying to do it all at once. If you are seeing the progress you will first know when you are done and you will not get stuck in perfection mode nearly as easy.

Trying for perfection can hold you back like a brick wall
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You cant realize your dreams.

Finally, if you are not releasing what you are creating you can not have your hopes and dreams come true. You will be lost in the world of frustrations and failure and not making any progress. 

Why are you actually wanting to create your product in the first place? You lose sight of that you cant achieve that dream.

Examples of Ready Fire Aim

As I said for launching a product or getting your project out for people to see it is actually better to Ready yourself. Fire off the product. Then adjust your aim. There are many examples of how this actually works.

Facebook is famous for move fast and break things. The current platform is far different than where it was when it first started. Mark Zuckerberg didn’t try to get the platform perfect at the beginning. He is slowly making the adjustment. Granted I hope he will realize the algorithm needs to be thrown out.

Writers are also known for not having everything perfect before showing it to their editor. There are multiple drafts before the book makes it to the store shelves. We have all heard of the shitty first draft and you can only proceed after that first draft has been looked at and you decide what direction you really want to go with the story.

When you are not pushing for perfection you are able to live your life freely.
Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on Pexels.com

Push Through

It can be tough and often you are mired in the frustration of trying to power your way through the problem of perfectionism that you may even have a hard time realizing you are stuck. One of the best ways to get out of that is to have help from your Band of Brothers. 

If you don’t have a group that you can turn to then you may look to The Brotherhood of Men. this group is dedicated to helping its members achieve their goals and dreams. All while holding each other accountable and calling out limiting beliefs.

However you do it, pushing through the perfection obstacle is paramount if you really want to be able to succeed.

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The Relaxed Male

The Relaxed Male
Bryan Goodwin

The Relaxed Male is a podcast that helps men find their purpose and learn to breathe. We offer solutions for when life gets tough. Whether it’s divorce or just the stress of everyday life, we can help you get back on your feet and be the man you want to be. You deserve more than what society tells us we should do as men. Be the father your children need, be the partner your spouse needs, and most importantly – be yourself! This all starts with you getting out of your own way and deciding how you are going to live life.