This week Adam Galinsky is talking to the Ted Folks and this fellow has some interesting things to say but at first, I thought oh boy his mindset is off. Yet after listening to him, I see that he is right the power which comes from confidence is where people run into issues.
The range of acceptable behavior
This is where people have a feeling that they have a say. They have enough power but are don’t think they have any power and so they don’t say anything. Then there are the people who think they have enough power but in reality, don’t and so they are quickly disregarded.
Power reflects range
Now he got into talking about gender double bind and you think he is going into the victim mindset. He says saying that women who don’t speak up go unnoticed and I would have to agree with that he also says that women who do speak up get rejected. That right there doesn’t happen nearly as often as you would think and when he continues he goes into the power/confidence dynamic.
Now I believe that the cause of this double bind is confidence. Often women will speak up and they won’t have the confidence they need to exert their power. Yes, their power. Women have just as much if not more power than men. Ask any married woman or the kids of a married man. Who runs the house. WHo’s opinion does dad most respect. The answer is almost always the wife.
Why? because the woman of the house has power. She knows what her strengths are and she is confident in her actions. So when she goes to work out a problem she has in her head she goes to dad/husband and they have a discussion. their thoughts are worked out and a solution is made.
The only time the woman of the house really gets disregarded is when there is an imbalance in the relationship. That Inbalance is often the sign of an abusive relationship. There is no Woman being disregarded in normal life. If the husband disregards the needs of his wife he will hear about it.
Adam Talks about two perceptions
- You seem powerful in your own eyes
- You seem powerful in the eyes of others
In other words, you need confidence.
advocate for others – Speak up for other folks. They call this the Mama Bear effect but for guys, it could easily be the Papa Bear effect
Perspective taking – This is where you look at the world through the other person eyes. This tactic is talked about in Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. which is an amazing book on how people think.
I like being able to help people find their “why” and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.