Brooke Castillo made a great video explaining the difficulty people have with their emotions
Hoorah! Hooray! Springtime is here. We have spent a winter being blown about. We have been fighting frost and having layers applied for our layers that I thought that I was in Westeros. Yet, finally, spring has sprung. It is time to start thinking of camping hiking and other outdoor activities. It is time for us to get outdoors again. Time to get our feet and hands dirty as we ready the gardens and our …
Ok this week I am getting a little out there in the outdoors area. I have always noticed a big difference between my younger self and the modern self. Often I attributed that difference with my grumpiness and cranky disposition to just getting older. I heard that when you turn 40 your testosterone drops and that makes a guy cranky and grumbly. Yet I remember back to when I was young I ran around barefoot …
So what are you wanting to accomplish in your life? We have talked about goals and mindset. Yet how do you tie these all together with your core values? That’s where this question comes into play. What are you wanting to accomplish in your life? Do you want to make every person smile? Maybe you want to have every person you encounter to see the beauty around them. Perhaps you are more ambitious and you …
Been working on getting your foundation setup. You have your core values and making them be your guiding principles in your life decisions. The next step is to shape your mission. What is your mission from God?
When you have your mission your path becomes a lot clearer and direct. It is as if you found the expressway instead of taking the surface streets to the other side of town.
So this week we are going to the next step of making your mission statement. So we are looking to Rabbi Simon Jacobson and why you want to have a mission of statement. That objective to why you are doing what you do. Does help you find give bearing to your direction.
Children are amazing. If you have kids the opportunity for you to sit back and watch them as they learn about their environment is always on in wonder. To see kids explore and learning their own way a truly fascinating experience
This week we have another Ted talk about what nature teaches kids. The answer is a lot, Nilda Cosco. Talks about the different aspect of the world and how kids see it.
You are setting in your office and you just got an email from the boss. The phrasing is a bit ambiguous but you read it as he is not happy. So, what do you do? Do you avoid the email act like it isn’t there? Perhaps you go ahead and reply, then start packing your things? When in reality you read the email completely wrong and he is going to offer you a promotion. Take …
Hey, it’s Christmas time, If you haven’t’ noticed yet! You had thanksgiving fly by and it reminded you exactly why you hate family functions. Yeah, something happens each year. You have subjected to the blatant back handed complements from the drunk aunt who has the self-delusional thoughts that she is in charge of everything. Then your odd uncle who believes you are still 8 and wants to wrestle after drinking a 12 pack. While you …
Hey, Christmas is just around the corner. Thanksgiving dinner is still warm and the leftovers are still being consumed. But it is now time to start thinking of the most wonderful time of the year. Yet not just Christmas itself but I want you to think of traditions, especially if you have young kids. These traditions stick with them and become an incredibly important part of their world and how it operates. That is why …
Its friday! and time for some helpful sites that are talking about anger. We talked about how anger can make you feel powerful but in reality it is compassion that leads to strength. Then on Wednesday we convered what is anger. So now how do you take care of that anger. especially when you are dealing with others.
The Life Coach School
The first site that will help you with managing your anger is Brook Castillo’s podcast. Her apprach to anger and how emtions affect everybody is a fresh take. Her thoughts on emotions and how they affect people are some of the most unique and freeing way to appreach handling emotions espicially anger.
Her point? Emotions are only yours. You can be made a person all day long and guess what? They are not goign to feel any negative effects from you. You not goign to ruin their day with your emtions. Now your actions are different critter all together but the feeling of anger or bitterness they have no effect on the people around you.
The only perons your emtions effect are yourself. So being angry only affects you. No one else. So Castillo brilliantly suggests why not feel love for them. It is completly your choice. Why not feel nothing but love even when that person is more irritating than sand in your underwear.
Maintaining Your Calm
Marc and Angel have a thoughtful post on how to remain calm while others are flying off the handle. THe list off 9 different ways that can help you keep the upper and calm hand while everyone else is losing their mind.
The big one is what I use to tell people when they were getting worked up, and that was Breathe! My actuall phrase was Breathe you will live longer. Often people didnt’ realize they were holing thier breath.
Other tips this power couple have are..
Be comfotable with pausing. Make intentional pauses. Let the other person who is shooting steam from their ears fume for a moment. Often the pause give out the sensation of calm. That in turns often will calm the other person down.
If you are dealing with a person who is just wanting to insite a response then the calm and silent pauses is does just the opposite too. You are no fun and they quickly grow bored.
Be Compassionate because you never know what the other person was experiancing all through the day. Also be kind and compassonate to yourself as Dr Kolts mentioned on Monday.
Talk Less because like the pauses silence has a calming effect on most people. Those who it doesn’t often show that they are uncomforable with scilence and need the input from others.
Yet remaining quite also allows for you to listen and hear what the actuall problem is. This is a big issue in todays society. Everybody is outraged and yelling, screaming and making a specticle of themselves that they dont realize that nobody is listening to their problems. If you dont have anybody listening then whats the point? Its like banging on a a locked door.
Keep a Cool Head Daddy-o
Alright dads we know when you add kids to the mix your frstration levels can reach some major levels. These levels can influance your kids in ways you really dont want to them too.
So what do you do? Well Dad University has hints on how to keep calm with kids. Thesetips also help when you are around grown up kids at the office. So what can you do?
Understand what pissed you off. THere is a reason why you are ready to go aggro on little bobby, but why? Often it isn’t so much what they are doing but something else that is happening in your life. So If when you feel the screaming mean dad boiling to the surface try to step back and stop for a second.
Another good practice according to Dad U is to get in the habit of meditating. This helps you be more mindful of what you are thinking and why you are acting the way you are. With that type of awarness you are aslo able to head off any fear inducing yells.
Then finally if you cant seem to be able to control your anger around the kids and family then you mingt want to see acouncelor. All great advice.
So there you go three links that will help you in get a handle of your anger. Do you have any techniques that help you mitigateand redirect sensations of anger? Over the weekend why not share a time you got really irritated with someone and how you handled it.