Who am I? man if there was ever an existential question that little Three-word sentence is it. How does someone answer that question? I remember from my childhood the best way to start a story is…
Once upon a time…
Yeah, that is a good start. Let’s roll with that.
Once upon a time, there was a child. Who was told that he was good at listening? People would start talking and they would air out some of the more interesting things that would go one in their world. Sometimes there would be secrets or maybe it was just someone who is looking for attention. Yet this boy would sit and listen.
As this boy grew to be a young man he still was told that he was good at listening. At times people would come to him for advice. Yet this young man was told that he needed to get a job. Find a career. So he did what he was supposed to. Fast forward 20 years and I grew up. Yeah, that little boy was me. Surprised aren’t ya?
Anyhow, I had learned several different life lessons. The big one was that people don’t care about your advice. Unless they come right out and ask for them your advice will turn to frustration as you see your good friends not heading what you suggest. That whole adage of horses, water, and drinking comes into play
I also discovered podcasts. and I kept migrating over to podcasts that were motivational. usually business oriented. THis with me entering my forties started to do a little internal reflection. I quickly realized that I am nothing like I was when I was young. I use to have a positive outlook. I had patients with other people. I made friends easily.
Now I was frustrated with almost every aspect of life. I felt as if my life had just up and disappeared in the blink of an eye. I had to watch my children grow up pretty much from the cab of a truck. I hated myself for that. I blamed myself for the wrong choices my kids were making. Foolishly believed that I alone could bring them back on to the straight and narrow.
My friends have shrunk down to 2. It was as if I had forgotten how to make friends. As I looked on I was beginning to detest the job I was in. Why did I have to choose truck driving? Why can’t I just make my own business like many of the podcasters I had listened to?
Why was I stuck? That is when I had a eureka moment. Listening to Cliff Ravenscraft it was a mindset. That was hanging me up. I was fighting against myself. I knew a business is possible. I had to find my passion. I tried Podcasting and yeah I like it a lot but that wasn’t my passion.
I thought maybe social media was my passion because I love keeping up to date on the largest social media trends. Yet in reality, I love learning about social media. I enjoy helping people with their social media strategy. Yet this is actually a personal interest.
I like helping people. I like camping, though I let life keep me from experiencing it with my kids. I have always enjoyed the outdoors. I have always liked guy culture. Understanding that guys are simple creatures. Who are passionate about what they care for. Ferocious towards protecting their family and only want to provide.
I then found a podcast that talked about drop shipping. This really got me fired up. I saw the potential to sell products online without having to worry about a warehouse. So I ran an online store for 5 months.
The only times I was getting sales were from people with stolen Credit cards out of Jakarta. So Online stores are not my forte at the moment. I often believe it is because you really need to have a larger audience base. I created this site and tried to sell with no visitors. I really had little planning on this site. but I liked it. It was a place I could actually talk about being a guy. I started to see that the young men of Gen Y were being assaulted. They were often miss directed and angry at so much but really couldn’t place a finger on what.
I pondered this for a while, and while also thinking of what my passion in life really is. I had narrowed it down to I like to help people. What was I going to help them with? Why would they want my advice? Heck, most people don’t even want advice, You give them advice and they take it as a reason to do the opposite. Help those folks who want to be helped. You cant rescue a drowning man till he wants to be rescued. Till that time he thinks he is swimming. So the possible last piece fell into place.
Us men get so focused on providing that we forget our selves. We are naturally stoic about our experiences that we almost 3epcect to watch them go by without acting. I want to change that. I guys to understand that they can love their family provide for their family and still be able to achieve all that they hoped when they were young. They don’t have to wait to travel. You can be there for your kids. If you want to be the tuck in master and chief storyteller. This is possible. What you were raised with was not entirely true.
I want this blog to be a place for men. SO they can build the confidence and acquire the needed knowledge to be the best they can be. A man who is tense and under pressure will never be at the top of their game unless they are trained. Men who are relaxed and confident in their actions are better equipped to handle the stresses life hands them. Learn that with the proper mindset your life gets far easier. You are equipped with the needed coping mechanism. We just have to learn how to use it.
I also believe that being outside has a centering effect for people as a whole. So, if I can use this blog to get men to understand that being a dad is the best stress you will ever be under. That humor is important to men. It seems that man young men have lost their ability to laugh unless it is in a negative ridicule manner. That doesn’t help themselves nor does it relax. I am about being the relaxed male. How us men can reconnect with who we want ourselves to be. We are can breathe and enjoy the great outdoors with our family building memories and lives.
I like being able to help people find their “why” and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.