Anger, we have talked about what it is and where does anger come from. Knowing about anger is good. Yet we still at times get mad. Though the bible doesn’t say it, I am sure somewhere along his story, Job threw his hands up and said, “Oh Come ON!”
We as humans get angry. That goes without saying. There wouldn’t be an emotion called anger if we all didn’t get ticked off from time to time.
Anger as an emotion can be debated as to whether it is good or not. It is definitely a good motivator because you, as a person, never want to make a person mad. We commonly don’t like to send out bad and negative energy to other folks. We see what happens to Bruce Banner when he gets angry.
Then there are the health problems that are associated with people who get angry often. They commonly have heart problems not to mention high blood pressure. People make the comment associated with this in that they are going to blow a gasket if the hothead in question doesn’t calm down. Therefore you also are more likely to stroke out and die.
Holding or repressing anger back isn’t advisable either. You are still at risk of having a heart attack. Just by getting angry. You also get sick more often because your immune system is always in overdrive and doesn’t get a break.
Getting angry and holding it in also makes you anxious. So those who are under stress are even more stressed. They are worried about more stuff because they are all ways on the lookout for what makes them angry.
Anger is Addicting
So how do you keep from getting angry? maybe I am an angry person? How do I just simply not get angry? The truth is you have to work at it and don’t hold on to it.
Most people when they get pissed off, they hold on to the anger. That sensation of anger is a sense of power to many people. They get angry and stew in that anger for a while afterward.
How many times have you been angry and relieved that whole scenario out in your mind over and over again? I have I at times get into mental arguments with people. In doing so you get angry at that person all over again.
So how do you control it? You have to practice letting it go. You find yourself getting annoyed and enmity is building. The best solution to let it go is to imagine your holding a tennis ball. Put all of your anger and hostility into that ball. It will fit trust me. Then give a ball a good hard squeeze and Then like the song says Let it go
If there a way you can start changing your emotional state to keep yourself more calm cool and collected. How do you do that? Well here are 7 different ways you can keep from getting angry.
Don’t Watch the news
How often do you watch the news? Well, that is way too much. Yes even if you watch only 30 minutes in the morning. you are more likely to be angry because of the news.
Why? Well because if it bleeds it leads. The more outrage a news organization can generate more viewers. So yes Fox News is just as bad for you are MSNBC. These groups may help to inform you of the fact that we are overrun with idiots. Yet it doesn’t fix the problem.
News misleads and is sadly pretty irrelevant. Their whole job is to make you aware of what is going on. but in reality, all news is nothing but a political megaphone. This is has been happening all the way back in colonial times. Conservative newspaper gets started to counterbalance the liberal paper in town.
Watching or reading news causes people to quickly become more irritated. They often rise to anger quicker. So if you want to become happier
All it is is fact-based gossip so get it out of your life and find that you are happier in the evening. Change the channel. But How will I know when Trump is being an ass? Well, more than likely he can give a homeless black lesbian a job and your opinion of him wouldn’t waver. So again the news is not going to change anybody’s mind. It is not the point.
Since what you watch influences your mind and your attitude. Why not learn something and read a biography or listen to a podcast about your favorite topic.
Breathe, You’ll live longer
Ok, now take a breath. Took a breath didn’t you? Ever been so mad you forgot to breathe? Oh yeah, we all have. I picked this phrase up when I was in High school and it often got me into trouble because that was my way of telling my parents to relax.
This didn’t always work many times it just added fuel to the fire and extended my grounding for another week. Yet it is a phrase that has stuck with me. I have defused a couple of tense situations by reminding people to breathe.
In the book, the Big Leap Gay Hendricks mentions Dr. Fritz Perl the founder of Gestalt Therapy by saying That, “Fear is excitement without the breath.” Fear often can manifest itself as anger.
I have seen many folks who as soon as they take a breath relax and see the anger melt away. So why not save yourself the trouble and take a breath from time to time.
You hold your breath as a means of suffocating fear.Click here to let your followers know what you learned about breathingClick To Tweet
Vent to a good friend
Sometimes we just have to get the problem off of our chest. Sometimes we holler and scream but that really doesn’t always fix the problem. not to mention if you are in the middle of a crowd you will often draw an unwanted look from the other people around you.
So you can you vent this anger without making a spectacle of yourself? Talk to a friend. Give him your side of the story. express all the emotions you are experiencing. Many people like to think that men don’t have a wide range of emotions but that is because we often are very stoic.
Yet we do vent our frustrations about our lives and the lack of a sex life. That friend will often sit and listen to your problems maybe even give some advice on how to fix it before eventually doing what all good friends do. They sock you in the and tell you to stop being a tit bag.
You see friends are amazing in that they put the world into perspective. They will let you get everything off your chest and then they make you smile and let you know that you are still a good friend even if you whine from time to time.
So use that friend. Just warn them about the venting first, or they may wonder what they did.
Think about why you’re angry
What made you angry? Now, this method is good if you are willing, to be honest with yourself. Why did that person who cut you off make you mad? In reality, we know it wasn’t because they are an asshole. In that person’s world they are not out to make you mad they don’t know you from Adam. For them, they are needing this upcoming exit and nobody will let them over.
Some people just don’t consider that others will want another pot of coffee. So they turn the pot off and call it good. They are not trying to punish you. Though you may be telling yourself that story.
The reason why you are getting angry in reality has very little to do with the joe in accounting. It has everything to do with you needing to direct your frustration on an object. Has the lawnmower ever been the target of your rage? It has mine, all because the worn pull string broke after being yanked for the last 5 years.
When that happens I know I have gone as far and kicking that inanimate object and yelled, “Stupid flipping piece of crap!” I am sure you used more colorful language as I actually did. WHy was I angry? Cause I wanted to get the lawn mowed and out of the way and now I can’t get what I wanted to be done until I attend to this unscheduled repair.
Now when looking at why. Avoid the word “triggered”. Triggered is not an excuse that is a victim mentality. You are saying the reason I got mad is that of somebody or something else caused me to lose my cool.
A trigger is something that causes the action of another object. So when you are triggered you are giving up your power and your will to do the bidding of another. Often that person doesn’t even want your attention. Yet here you are handing over your will and emotional controls to a complete and total stranger. So take control of your emotions and actions were not being triggered. Take the absolute worst word of the 2010’s and get rid of it from your vocabulary.
IF you are in control of your own life and thought processes you will automatically become happier. Don’t be the slave to other people who don’t care about you.
How does a horse trainer get a saddle on a horse? He runs him around and around the paddock. Why is that? Well because they are more likely to learn when they have all their extra energy burned off. If you don’t and you try to put a halter or saddle on a horse that hasn’t been run a bit they will fight and avoid your objective.
The same goes in dog training when you work the extra energy off of a dog before training begins they are more receptive to lessons learned.
For people, the reason for exercise is the very same thing. You can be more receptive to a learning event when you have your unneeded extra energy burnt away. After exercising you find that your thought processes are more calm and collected. You are able to have a more rational thought without emotions getting in the way. If something goes wrong you may sigh out of frustration but the possibility of you blowing your top is greatly diminished.
Often anger is because you find yourself off balance. The stress of 10,000 things coming at you from all sides is too much for any man to really bare. So A good trick is to meditate. Get yourself centered. As a football player if you are grounded and centered you are harder to knock over. If someone has you off balance you can be set off on some tie raid a lot easier.
With meditation and being mindfully aware of your actions, you can avoid the explosions that can often happen. You are able to quickly dismiss the anger and as mentioned before let it go.
The more you meditate the quicker you can deflect anger and be a better leader. Nobody wants to follow the hothead. Cause they want to win the battle not be a casualty because General Volcano couldn’t keep it together.
So if you are easy to anger try spending just 10 minutes in the morning on staying calm through the day. you will be surprised at the results.
Who are your friends
Now, this last tip is a tough one. I mentioned this one before, “show me your friends and I will show you your future.” Or as Jim Rohn states it, ” You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.
If you are angry a lot look at your friends. Are they always outraged over something? Is someone in your group throwing a fit because their french fries aren’t crispy enough? Is someone a sore loser?
If that is the case then it could be time that you start finding new friends. Find friends who are closer to who you want to be. If you want to be calmer then hang out with that laid-back friend more often. If you want to find someone who is wanting to get into shape and burn off that excess energy then make a friend at the gym.
I know. I make it sound like you can just make a friend anywhere. In reality, you can. Making friends isn’t easy but it is possible if you try.
So there you go. How can you mitigate and keep anger to a minimum? well on if not all of these 7 points can do just that. There are things that often have to change. Normally we want other people to change. We hate when Bob does whatever. In reality, we are the ones who have to make the change our emotions affect only ourselves. Bob has no clue as to how you feel and it doesn’t bother him either way. The truth to all of this is that if you want to be happy you are in control of that. If you want to love you only have to feel that love. Emotions are for your experience only. Nobody else can feel your emotions. So if you don’t want to be angry that is in your power and you can change it. So let change that now.
How have you stopped being angry? have you used any of these 7 tips? did they work for you? Share why in the comments below.
I like being able to help people find their “why” and achieve the personal freedom they desire. Besides writing for Relaxed Male I also am a life coach. By helping men find the leader that is found in each and every one of us. I do this by encouraging men to get outdoors and find the balance they are missing. Realize that they need to be in contact with the outside as often as they can. It is not only good for them but for their families and relationships.